It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
As science and
technology
have improved by leaps and bounds, a great many traditional cultures
Worldwide have been lost and the trend may continue in the future, which makes some people believe that both aspects cannot coexist in a proper manner. From my perspective, I am not in favour of this
view. While
traditional cultures
are facing extra challenges due to
the popularization of high machinery, cultures
and technology
are compatible. They are inclusive rather than exclusive.
On the one hand. The rapid development of science and machinery has accelerated the process of industrialization. Large machines gradually replaced handwork, more products were made by factories. Handcrafted items are frequently regarded as inefficient goods. For example
, as jeans and T-shirts are mass-produced in standard size, people all around the world start wearing similar clothes rather than traditional costumes.
On the other hand
, technology
has the ability to influence and mould traditional culture, infuse new vitality into it, and even protect and pass it down to future generations. As individual's needs are fulfilled, they will develop a greater desire for spiritual goods and experience. Traditional art is unique and special and responds to their demand for retro and nostalgic culture. Furthermore
, technology
provides modern measures to preserve traditional civilization from disappearing. For example
, People from all over the world can match the whole process of Beijing Opera through TikTok to experience the exotic style from ancient China.
In conclusion, the development of high technology
does create new problems for traditional cultures
, but I believe it also
brings new directions and protection measures.Submitted by yike407 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt and your position on the topic is clearly stated. Your introduction is solid, but try to present your viewpoint in a bit more detail and provide a roadmap of your main points.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between your ideas throughout the body paragraphs. For example, use more linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow from one point to the next.
task achievement
Although the essay provides relevant examples, they can be more specific and varied. This will help in making your ideas more concrete and compelling.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should ideally have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that are logically arranged. Work on structuring your paragraphs more cohesively.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear and consistent position on the topic, effectively conveying the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, providing a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have used examples to support your arguments, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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