IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is widely thought that global tourism has a negative impact on the destinations and countries. While there is a strong case for this view, action must be taken to deal with this issue

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It is widely thought that global tourism has a negative impact on
the
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apply
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destinations and countries.
While
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 there is a strong case for
this
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 view, action must be taken to deal with
this
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 issue. There are two main reasons why local residents consider international tourism as a cause of several problems in their countries. One reason is that it may have an adverse effect on traditional customs and indigenous practices as foreigners are often insensitive towards the feelings of local residents. They do not understand the culture of the destinations they visit so they may wear unsuitable clothes. They can have a negative impact on local young
people
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 here as the young ones can copy foreigners’ fashion and habits which are inappropriate in their own countries. Another reason is that global tourists often pollute and litter beautiful spots. As they think that
this
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 is not their place
so
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they hold no responsibility for it whatsoever. They can litter everywhere and many places have been spoiled by
this
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 lack of respect for the local environment. Measures must be taken by government and international bodies to change negative attitudes.
Firstly
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, the undoubted economic benefits of international tourism ought to be widely spread through
media
Correct article usage
the media
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. The fact that
tourist
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tourists
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 spending money in shops and restaurants
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 raise the GDP of that country and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 more jobs for local
people
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 needs to be publicized more.
Secondly
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,
people
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 should raise awareness more about respecting beautiful destinations in the world. There should be rules and penalties for littering and ruining places. Tour guides
also
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 need to explain to foreigners
about
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apply
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the culture of the specific places they visit so they can act more appropriately and suitably. In conclusion, only by addressing the concern of local
people
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, negative attitudes can be changed.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should build upon the previous one, clearly linking the main points altogether.
task response
While some specific examples were mentioned, consider adding more detailed examples or case studies to support your ideas further. This could strengthen your arguments and provide more clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by identifying both the negative impacts of tourism and suggesting measures to mitigate these issues.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow the line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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