Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

Since the very early time of the stone age, people

tried

Suggestion

have tried

to entertain themselves by melodies and

music even

Accept comma addition

music, even

though they had limited tools and equipment for those.

Music

comes from the heart of the people and it is the things that can unite the people of different fields. I totally agree with the idea of uniting different cultural people

obtain by purchase; acquire by means of a financial transaction

buy

music but

Accept comma addition

music, but

I am doubtful whether

music

can fill the gaps of different ages.

Music

has no limitations of traditions, religions and cultures and everyone in the world could compose and all people can feel

this

even without understanding the full meaning of it.

For instance

, our world is facing the attack of the COVID-19 virus at the present and it started in China where is

also

the most affected area of

this

virus spreading. Even though the

Chinse

a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China

Chinese

government tries to recover from

this

in many

ways including

Accept comma addition

ways, including

locking down the

megacities

, I don't know how they try hard to survive during

this

period until I hear and watch the

music

video composed for encouraging all people in Wuhan including doctors and nurses.

This

song makes me feel so deeply and I could sympathize with them about their present situation without a full understanding of language and their culture in detail. It may be the same for other people around the world.

Although

music

has great power to join different

cultures people

Accept comma addition

cultures, people

to be one, it is a bit hard to unite people of different ages. Several people from distinct eras may have different

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

music

styles. Depending on the environment that they grow up, their fondness of

music

will not be the same.

For example

, my grandparents like to listen to classical

music

while my parents love pop

music

. At the same time, I like to sing rock

music whereas

Accept comma addition

music, whereas

my nieces and nephews find hip-hop songs as their

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

However

, the basic idea of

music

-loving spirit is the same despite variations in the love of

music

styles. In conclusion, I believe that there is no barrier to

music

to overcome the wall of traditions, cultures, and

religions but

Accept comma addition

religions, but

it is a bit difficult to pass the gaps of different ages.

Wed Feb 19 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Fully explain your ideas

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