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Writing Samples
Band 5

Home schooling is getting a lot importance over traditional learning environment provided by schools. What is your opinion on the subject?

The argument over whether learning at home or at school is better for
children
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 has not been settled yet.
While
Linking Words
 home education provides a better learning environment and opportunities for families to bond,
schools
Use synonyms
 can provide a range of material and human resources essential for
holistic
Correct article usage
the holistic
show examples
 development of
children
Use synonyms
. Ultimately, I think school experience is the best. There are several advantages for
children
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 who learn at home. It provides
Correct article usage
a personalized
show examples
personalized
Change the spelling
personalised
show examples
 learning environment for the child.
In addition
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, it allows
children
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 to bond with their parents and siblings
while
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 learning. Many social problems are associated with families not spending enough quality
together
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time together
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. Instruction is custom-designed and moves at the child’s own pace. The learning material can be
tailor
Wrong verb form
tailored
show examples
made
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apply
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to suit
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 learning style. It provides better protection from bullies and others who might be a bad influence.
On the contrary
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, school learning provides a very unique set of advantages for
children
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.
Schools
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 encourage
children
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 to
socialize
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socialise
show examples
 with their peers and
how
Verb problem
to learn how
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 to cope with gossip, bullying and peer-pressure.
Schools
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 play a big role in guiding
children
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 to choose their subject of interest from a wide range of disciplines. They have teachers who are trained in special subjects. What is more,
schools
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 can provide access to a range of physical resources
such
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 as sports equipment, musical instruments and library books. In today’s competitive world,
schools
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 are
also
Linking Words
 equipped with an advanced sports infrastructure which enhances
overall
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 development
one’s
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of one’s
show examples
 mental and physical health.
Schools
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 may present various difficult social situations, but so does the real world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 must learn to navigate these on their own.

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planning
Plan your essay before writing. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then give two clear points for home schooling and school, with a quick example. End with a clear conclusion restating your view.
structure
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This helps the reader see your main point fast.
development
Try to add more precise ideas or examples. For example, mention how home schooling can fit with family time, or how school can give access to clubs and labs.
grammar
Watch grammar and word choice. Some phrases are a bit long or odd. Keep simple and clear.
content
The essay covers both sides of the topic.
position
There is a clear overall view that favors school learning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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