IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some high school required all student to wear school uniform other higher school permit student to decide what to wear to school. which of these two school policies you think is better?

#school #student #uniform #two #policies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When coming to
dress
 code there are different rules applied to students by their education
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
.
Accept space
.
 While many secondary schools let their attendants to choose what to wear
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe there is more benefits to oblige the students to wear specifics uniforms for many reasons
.
Accept space
.
 On one
hand some
Accept comma addition
hand, some
 schools prefer to let the choice of dressing to their students because of some advantages it holds
.
Accept space
.
Firstly it
Accept comma addition
Firstly, it
 promotes the value of diversity at the level of
yougnsters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
.
Accept space
.
 They become aware of the differences between them and teach to
yougnsters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
 the notion of
unicity
Suggestion
Unicity
ethnicity
.
Accept space
.
Thus they
Accept comma addition
Thus, they
 will learn that the society is made of a variety of persons with whom they will have to cohabit
.
Accept space
.
However i
Accept comma addition
However, I
However I
 believe education
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 should impose a
dress
 code to their attendants for these reasons
.
Accept space
.
 If students wear the same uniforms they will be on an equal footing
.
Accept space
.
 So there will be no discriminations because some
students
Suggestion
students'
student's
 parents are wealthier and will
dress
 their offspring like queens or kings
.
Accept space
.
Additionaly it
Accept comma addition
Additionally, it
Additionally it
 is the best way to prevent from fanciful dressing and
also
 to make student feel proud
for
Suggestion
of
 belonging to a group
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore it
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, it
 is a way to keep students safe and identify any stranger among them
.
Accept space
.
 In
conclusion it
Accept comma addition
conclusion, it
 seems to me that
,
Accept space
,
 it holds more advantages for education
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 to dictate a
dress
 code to their students with good impacts on the life of these ones
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by mshossain1205 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: