In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In my opinion, an egalitarian

society

Use synonyms

is one in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities. I completely agree that

people

Use synonyms

can achieve more in

this

Linking Words

kind of

society

Use synonyms

. Education is an important factor with regard to personal

success

Use synonyms

in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

to pursue a university degree. In a

society

Use synonyms

without free schooling or affordable higher education, only children and young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning opportunities, and they would

therefore

Linking Words

be better prepared for the job market.

This

Linking Words

kind of inequality would ensure the

success

Use synonyms

of some but harm the prospects of others. I would argue that equal rights and opportunities are not in conflict with

people

Use synonyms

’s freedom to succeed or fail.

In other words

Linking Words

, equality does not mean that

people

Use synonyms

lose their motivation to succeed, or that they are not allowed to fail.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, I believe that most

people

Use synonyms

would feel more motivated to work hard and reach their potential if they thought that they lived in a fair

society

Use synonyms

. Those who did not make the same effort would know that they had wasted their opportunity. Inequality,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, would be more likely to demotivate

people

Use synonyms

because they would know that the odds of

success

Use synonyms

were stacked in favour of those from privileged backgrounds. In conclusion, it seems to me that there is a positive relationship between equality and personal

success

Use synonyms

Submitted by ssoliyev664 on Thu Feb 20 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years,some argue that a formal academic qualification owns the higher state when they recruit a new staff.In my opinion,I completely disagree with this point of view and I believe that life experience and personal qualities are more important which can be supported by the reasons as follows.
5
band
Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is true that pupils should emphasize learning in the classroom rather than show state by dressing in trendy garments. All pupils should wear school uniforms. I completely agree with the idea that students should concentrate on learning for education rather than simply wearing fashionable clothes.
4
band
Shopping should be perceived as a form of self-indulgence rather than about buying things that are necessary. Do you agree or disagree?
With growth of people’s well-being much standards we had in the past are broke down, replaced with something unusual. The statement “In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older” proofs enough this tendency. Let’s reveal advantages and disadvantages of this decision.
6.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the contemporary era, many minors put the mjority of their time on their handsets. In my opinion, owing to existing entertainment applications that are amusing on mobile phones, this trend occurs. In addition, I hold this view that it is a negative trend that can cause serious problems in juveniles' lives.
5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?
There is a debate regarding whether unpaid community service programmes should be mandated for teenagers at schools. I agree to this argument as it would help develop their interpersonal skills and gain life expereinces that are crucial for their adulthoods.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Shopping should be perceived as a form of self-indulgence rather than about buying things that are necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?