Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

The issue of whether the artwork contributes to the economy has become a
controversial
Suggestion
controversy
in the contemporary society. Despite the government have allotted funds on crafts, individuals are ought to allocate the budget in a more valuable projects. Personally, I entirely disagree for a number of reasons. To embark on, the asserting of procurement on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
is a quite impressive to use nowadays. Since the government has devoted some of its resources, the possession of these artists are having beneficial for two reasons: less juvenile crimes and more livelihood profit. The central reason behind
this
is the petty crimes
is
Suggestion
are
more likely to decrease because of the youth programs. Take,
For example
, the school of arts is flourishing by improvements which showed
drastically increase
Suggestion
a drastic increase
drastic increase
of the
enrolls
a person who enrolls in (or is enrolled in) a class or course of study
enrollees
by 30% compared to the
last
of a year 3% increased.
Therefore
,
the young
Suggestion
younger
the younger
ones prefer to be educated on handicrafts rather than involving themselves in crimes.
Furthermore
, It should not be forgotten that the business firms were probing prospective employees who learned craft work, so most of them were
hiring
Suggestion
hired
artist.
This
is generally because people who usually demonstrate creativity are the ones who have outstanding aptitude. To illustrate, During trade season, most of the items in the furniture shops were sold out, and it was crafted by the well-known artist.
Thus
, it is conclusively clearing that
this
creation of art is generating income. To conclude, individuals pulling out the budget in arts to pave way in other projects will have no impact on the
economics
Suggestion
economy
.
This
approach will not improve the current situation because it will aggravate the poor standing of many disorderly youth.
Submitted by jmbrowncadorna on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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