Young people are increasingly choosing to eliminate meat from their diets and become vegetarians. Do you think this is a good idea? Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks?

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As veganism trending is becoming extremely common, the young as well have the tendency to become vegetarians, removing
meat
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from their diets. From my perspective, I'm convinced that
this
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phenomenon presents positive changes, yet doesn't outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, there are undeniable advantages of having a vegetarian meal. One of the most significant benefits is that
this
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diet helps avoid many chronic illnesses
such
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as heart disease, cancer or obesity. Another positive aspect is that vegetarians are less likely to be overweight as the amount of calories in vegetables is extremely lower than that in
meat
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.
For example
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, many studies have been conducted, showcasing a small rate of vegetarians being diabetic, compared to the ordinary.
On the other hand
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, eliminating
meat
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may have some negative impacts, as it nourishes our body more than plant-based foods can.
Firstly
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, vegetables are deficient in protein
whereas
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a large amount of
this
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is found in
meat
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. The main reason why the human body needs to consume a balanced diet of protein is to build and repair tissue
as well as
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maintain a healthy body, which is vital when doing anything energetic.
Secondly
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,
besides
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promoting mental health,
meat
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also
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improves physical health as
meat
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is extremely rich in various vitamins and minerals
such
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as vitamins A, B, and D. It has been proven that these vitamins play an important role in promoting good vision, and strengthening teeth and the bones system as well. All things considered, it is true that following a vegetarian diet results in many benefits
such
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as lowering risks of getting chronic illnesses.
However
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, I believe that
meat
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is highly required
while
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maintaining a healthy scheme.
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Including data, anecdotes, or personal experiences can make your essay more convincing.
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Ensure that all your ideas are fully developed, as some concepts in the essay seem slightly under-explored. This could enhance your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph naturally leads into the next, creating a smoother reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Try to consistently use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence and better connect your points.
coherence cohesion
You present a clear introduction and a clear conclusion, both summarizing the main points of the essay concisely.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the benefits and drawbacks of eliminating meat from the diet, demonstrating a comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
You effectively separate your essay into paragraphs with each one focusing on different aspects of the issue.
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