Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts #music

Whether

art

and artists should receive

government

funding has always been a topic of debate. Some people argue that the

government

should spend its money on more important things like health and education

instead

of sponsoring artists and

art

events. I do not quite agree with

this

view. In my opinion, it is important to spend on sectors like healthcare, education and infrastructure.

This

however

, does not mean that

art

and artists can be neglected. Artists can’t save lives or build bridges, but they still contribute to the society in their own way.

Music

for example

, soothes the mind. Listening to

music

is actually the favourite pastime of busy professionals who lead extremely stressed out lives.

In other words

, by supporting

music

and musicians, the

government

is indirectly helping the emotional

wellbeing

Suggestion

well being

of its people.

Likewise

, dancers

enthrall

hold spellbound

enthralled

the audience with their performance. Cultural programmes like

music

and

dance draw

Accept comma addition

dance, draw

a large audience and generate money. By simply organizing

such

events for

art

lovers and tourists, the

government

can not only help budding artists who need an avenue to showcase their

talent but

Accept comma addition

talent, but

also

generate

revenue

that can be used for developing other sectors. Tourism is a major source of

revenue

for governments all over the world and artists have immense power to attract tourists.

For example

, Indian classical dances and

music

have always fascinated a large number of tourists. They visit the country to watch these performances and even

enroll

enrolled

in dance and

music

schools here to learn the

art

This

is a source of

revenue

for the

government

. To conclude, nobody is asking the

government

to promote

arts

Suggestion

the arts

at the expense of other sectors. Any

such

move would be suicidal.

Instead

, what the

government

needs to do is to earmark a small portion of its

revenue

for the promotion of

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. Like any other sector,

arts

Suggestion

the arts

also

generate jobs and help the society on the whole

Submitted by umika.d7 on Thu Feb 20 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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