Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages.

#students #jobs #studies

Almost every student wants to do

part

timing during the school year. Some people would think that it might help them or disturbing them. I think that doing

part

time

jobs does not disturb their studies. There are several reasons why doing

part

time

jobs can help you.

First

, do

part

time

jobs can enhance your maturity because students can know more about

adults

Suggestion

adult

adult's

life.

Second

, students can get their own

money

pocket. Because of that, they can buy what they want without asking

money

from their parents or other family member.

Third

, youngsters can know more people from their

part

time

job.

Although

Suggestion

Despite

knowing more people can be

dangerous but

Accept comma addition

dangerous, but

at least you practice on how to meet people from another place. There are several reasons why some people said that doing

part

time

jobs disturb us.

First

, it can cause students grade dropping. Students should not be worried at least they can manage their

time

. If they can not, automatically their score will be affected.

Second

, some people said that students

can not

cannot

manage their

money

properly because of that, they can buy something

that is

inaproppriate

not suitable for a particular occasion etc

inappropriate

or illegal. Parents should teach their children to save their more or spend their

money

that is

important for you so that they can spend their

money

properly.

Third

, it can affect

pupils

Suggestion

pupils'

quality

time

with their family because of their

part

time

jobs. Students can tell their senior of boss to reschedule the

time

for youngsters shift.

For example

their family wants to make a family

dinner but

Accept comma addition

dinner, but

their son can not attend the family

dinner

because of his

part

time

job. He should tell their boss that they have family

dinner

so that he can join the

dinner

. In conclusion, doing

part

time

job can help students to

gron

the solid part of the earth's surface

ground

and not disturbing them.

Submitted by wasahao123 on Thu Feb 20 2020

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such as
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition?

Despite the variety of sport facilities and gyms, people become less fit than ever What are major causes? What solutions you suggest?