Some people feel that equality between the genders has already been achieved while others feel there is considerable progress to be made. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is considered by some people that
women
today are treated as equally as men
while
others think that gender equality has yet to be achieved. Although
women
have indeed been given more respect and opportunities, as well as
more rights as a citizen and men
can act in the way they desire, women
are still disadvantaged in some cultures and when it comes to making purchases.
It is apparently undeniable that to some extent, women
have been treated with more esteem in recent decades. The most significant evidence for this
is their rights to vote, to run for elections and to be elected. Had it been centuries ago, women
would not be allowed to acquire knowledge and receive education, let alone vote or be in high authority like many do now. Another example of gender equality having been attained is that stereotypes like “strong”, “should act menly” or “should not cry” are no longer imposed on men
. As a result
, they are now free to live in the way they wish, meaning they could
be gently or vulnerable without being criticised.
Having been given as many rights as Wrong verb form
can
men
regarding societal activities, women
are still looked down on in some cultures. For instance
, in some remote areas in Vietnam, daughters and wives are not permitted to eat before the male members of their families finish their meal. In addition
to that, they are usually beaten up and tortured when they do not satisfy their fathers or husbands. It should also
be noticed that products aimed at women
tend to have a higher price compared to those with the same function but for men
. As a consequence
, they have to pay much more money for their necessities, which is totally unfair. For example
, in the USA, despite being necessary, tampons and other period products are taxed up to 35%, putting many women
with low income at a disadvantage since they cannot afford such
a basic need.
In conclusion, while
both women
and men
have been treated the same recently, gender equality have not been fully achieved as many women
are still mistreated in their family and by companies.Submitted by tranbaongoc231007 on
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introduction conclusion present
While your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, the introduction could be enhanced by providing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the essay question. The conclusion summarizes the discussion effectively.
supported main points
Your main points are generally supported by examples, but the support could be more specific and fully developed. Strive to include detailed examples that clearly relate to the central point being made.
logical structure
Ensure that all paragraphs have a logical flow and that ideas connect smoothly from one to the next. Transitional phrases can help improve the readability and coherence of your essay.
complete response
You have addressed both views of the argument and provided a personal opinion, which meets the task requirements. Your response is complete, but some ideas seem general and require further development for depth.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for greater clarity by breaking down complex ideas into more straightforward statements when necessary.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant, but to score higher, they should be more specific and detailed. This will better illustrate and substantiate your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?