IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Politician's private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politician #lives #newspapers
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There have been numerous cases of revealing personal lives of politicians, which is considered illegal, to the public
conciousness
an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation
consciousness
 through newspapers. I agree that it violates the privacy of these individuals as much as others.
However
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, I believe that exposing them can be sometimes necessary in case the security of the people would be at risk
otherwise
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. Politicians are people and they have rights to protect as citizens. Elements of their private lives,
such
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 as family and wealth, should remain secret for their sake. Revealing their information without their permission or for personal gain is considered unethical and unlawful.
For instance
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, a foreign minister lost a child
to
Suggestion
of
 a rival party member due to a paparazzi showing his address. On the flip side, if a politician threatens the security of the nation or other countries to seek political goals, and if he or she is secretive,
then
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 analysing their private information to retaliate is a must in order to retaliate their malicious acts. To illustrate, a militaristic dictator who
overthroned
having been turned so that the bottom is no longer the bottom
overturned
 an elected president has enjoyed seven years of ruling his land where its people suffer with low wages, unreasonable arrests, loss of rights, and poor health. The dictator has made deals with other neighbouring governments to remain in power
indefinately
to an indefinite extent; for an indefinite time
indefinitely
, despite his claims of stepping down after a short period. Justice systems have been powerless to defeat him due to his secretive nature, and
therefore
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, his secrets must be known as a means of restoring order to the country. To conclude, politicians earn rights just like any other human. Yet, their authority can be a problem if they impose their power for evil, and
thus
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 they must be deciphered.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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