Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

People are debating about
university
students
focused on the subjects and the way they learn. Some
university
students
think they have to know more understanding not only the main module but
also
other modules and
that is
the reason why they choose elective modules.
However
, others think you should focus only on the main subject that you want to qualify.
This
essay will discuss both opinions and give you more cases as an example. Some
university
students
want to know more
other
Change preposition
about other
show examples
subjects not only for main subjects. The
University
also
give them access to that.
Then
students
can choose the main module which is mandatory to understand and
also
an elective module as an additional insight.
For instance
, if you want to be an entrepreneur, you will need to understand more aspects of your business.
Instead
of focusing only on finance, you have to acknowledge
such
as tax, permit, stakeholder relations, and so on.
On the other hand
, people think you have to spend your time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
paying more attention only to the subject you want to qualify for or be an expert.
For example
, if you want to be a doctor you have to understand deeply modules as a doctor in general, specific areas, and
also
know more about medicine. All of the aspects are only about the medical area, but as a doctor, you should know more deeply. In my case, I prefer to choose the first advice. Understanding another perspective will give you a higher point of view. You can work together as a team from various backgrounds and solve problems. In conclusion, both methods will work depending on your goal. There are always the best and the worst part depending on what you want to achieve.
Submitted by jehanboo on

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coherence cohesion
You've made a reasonable attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, your essay lacks clear topic sentences, and the paragraphing could be improved to enhance logical flow. Try employing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea you will discuss.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt, but the overall response could be more comprehensive. Ensure you fully develop your arguments by providing more detailed explanations and exploring the implications of the points made. Include a wider range of ideas and flesh them out for a fully realized response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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