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Writing Samples
Band 5

Student should be encouraged to work part-time. Do you agree or disagree?

#student #work
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Job
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important part in our life. It helps us in finances, create relationships and lots of benefits more. These days, students are often suggested to work part-time
job
Use synonyms
 after school. Working part-time
job
Use synonyms
 is a not bad choice for students because it has
magnificant
characterized by grandeur
magnificent
 advantages for our skill improvement.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, working part-time helps you earn extra
money
Use synonyms
. Because students are still in
the young
Suggestion
the younger
 age range, they cannot make
money
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 themselves. Most students rely on their parents'
money
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 to pay for living expenses.
However
Linking Words
, when they can make
money
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, they have the ability to pay for basic sums of
money
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 and no longer need to rely on their parents anymore.
As a result
Linking Words
, students become more independent in finances and respect the cash more than ever.
Secondly
Linking Words
, working part-time improves
money
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 managing skills. As you start making
money
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 of your own, you tend to be more cautious about how you spend your
money
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 that you worked hard for. It not only can help you build up long-term savings, but it
also
Linking Words
 makes you become more aware of your cash.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when you get older, you will have a good
money
Use synonyms
 managing skills to avoid debts.
Finally
Linking Words
, part-time
job
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 builds students’ confidence. Indeed, you will be responsible for your own schedule and your
money
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you have the opportunity to meet many people, make
more good
Suggestion
better
 friends, relationship, develop the socializing skill.
As a result
Linking Words
, you will rely less on
peoplee
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 around you, and you won’t be nervous at
crowded place
Suggestion
a crowded place
crowded places
 anymore. In conclusion, working
part-time
Suggestion
a part-time job
job
Use synonyms
 is a great idea for students. If they work at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
, they will be more mature in the future and have a better start.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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