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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

#english #school #languages #risk
In today's modern society, there are compelling reasons to learn
English
 or to focus on improving local
languages
instead
. Here are the advantages of both approaches. On one hand,
English
 is undeniably an important
language
, not only for natives in the US or UK but
also
 for people in other regions with their own local
languages
.
This
 global
language
 facilitates communication across diverse populations. When
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to foreign lands, using
English
 can help in asking for directions or communicating with locals.
Additionally
,
English
 proficiency can attract foreign visitors, as many tour guides can explain the area's attractions
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using
this
 widely understood
language
.
On the other hand
, learning and preserving local
languages
 is
also
 crucial. The diversity of
languages
 enhances a country's cultural richness, as seen in Indonesia, which has hundreds of
languages
 from various regions.
Moreover
, not every country embraces
English
, especially those that were colonized by the UK during the world wars. Some people might
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 resentment and prefer not to learn
English
 as a second
language
.
Furthermore
, certain countries, like Japan, prioritize their native
language
 to protect their cultural identity. Japanese citizens rarely engage in conversations in
English
, proudly maintaining their
language
 as their primary means of communication. Foreign visitors might find it challenging to communicate in
English
, necessitating the need to learn Japanese to interact effectively. In conclusion, it is important to speak both
English
 and the native
tongues
Fix the agreement mistake
tongue
show examples
 of the area. We should strive to perfect our command of
English
while
also
 preserving and valuing our local
languages
.
Submitted by ghiffari.awliya on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both aspects of the question, it would be beneficial to provide a clearer stance on your opinion regarding the importance of learning English versus preserving local languages.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen the argument, especially when discussing the importance of preserving local languages and the resentment towards learning English in certain regions.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally clear, but some points could be more developed to ensure a smoother flow between ideas. For instance, the reasons for resisting the English language in previously colonized countries can be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage well, providing a brief overview of what will be discussed in the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good balance by discussing both the importance of English and the value of preserving local languages.
task achievement
Points are supported with relevant examples, such as the situation in Indonesia and Japan, which enrich the argument and provide clarity to the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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