IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people choose to spend their leisure time with colleagues from their workplace. Others prefer to keep their personal life and working life separate. Is it a good idea to spend leisure time with people from work? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Spending free time with coworkers outside of
work
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 is a subject that many people have different opinions about. In my opinion,
although
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 socializing with colleagues can have some positive effects, it is essential to keep a clear separation between
work
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 life and personal time to maintain a healthy lifestyle. On one hand, spending time with colleagues outside of
work
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 can strengthen relationships and build a more positive
work
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 environment. When people interact casually, they often develop better understanding and trust, which can lead to improved teamwork and collaboration at the office.
For example
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, team outings or casual gatherings can break down formal barriers, making it easier to communicate openly during
work
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.
Moreover
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, it can be especially helpful for new employees to bond with their coworkers and feel more comfortable in a new environment.
On the other hand
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, constantly mixing personal and professional lives may lead to complications. If conflicts arise in personal settings, they might carry over into the workplace and affect professionalism.
Furthermore
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, some people prefer to keep a clear boundary between
work
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 and their private life in order to relax fully and avoid
work
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-related stress outside office hours.
For instance
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, a friend of mine who worked in a high-pressure sales job found that spending weekends with coworkers often turned into
work
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 discussions, leaving him feeling like he was never truly off duty. In conclusion,
although
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 engaging in social interactions with colleagues can foster stronger connections and enhance collaborative efforts, it is equally crucial to respect individual boundaries. Striking a healthy balance between professional camaraderie and personal space enables individuals to reap the advantages of workplace relationships
while
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 preserving their well-being.

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task achievement
In your conclusion, consider summarizing the main points discussed in the body, which helps reinforce your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words or phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showcasing critical thinking.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and illustrate your points effectively, enhancing the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear framework for your discussion.
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