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Writing Samples /
Band 4

More and more work is being carried out by machines in all areas of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Discuss with appropriate examples.

#work #machines #areas #lives #development
For the
last
 few years,
machines
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
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 a crucial part in everyday life to do various duties that were used to do with humans.
This
 essay will discuss two main benefits including cost and accuracy of
work
,
also
 it will mention drawbacks like losing a task and increasing competition for
work
. With the advancement of technology, workers are being replaced by
machines
 because it is cheaper and more accurate.
Machines
 have
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 software, so they can do the same
work
 as a human,
as well as
 they are a
one time
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
 expense for any employer. To illustrate, many Chinese restaurants have replaced waiters
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 robots, who were used to serve food, but Now robots are doing jobs in place of waiters.
Overall
, employers in all sectors
are
Verb problem
have
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 started using technology to fulfil
work
 duties. Despite, automation has positive sites, there are some cons of implementing machinery in human life. The trend of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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machines
 can plummet the needs of employees,
as a consequence
, people lose their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
,
moreover
, there will be cut-throat competition for jobs because of reduced
work
 availability.
For instance
, a recent news article concluded that there is a 40% rise in job competition because it increased the use of robotics. Put simply,
machines
 can make human life more difficult if they
replaced
Wrong verb form
replace
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. There are both plus points of using machinery
as well as
 some negative facets.
Machines
 can be useful but should only replace works that are very difficult for humans as well there should be rules to make limited use of technology.

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task response
The essay addresses the task to some extent, but the points are not fully developed or adequately supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The introduction and conclusion are vague, and the main points are not thoroughly supported.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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