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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

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In recent years, many jobs have become more stressful, and employees often
work
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 longer
hours
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 than before. There are several reasons for
this
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 trend, but there are
also
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 ways
employers
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 can help improve the situation. One major reason is the advancement of technology. Many workers are expected to be available through emails or phones even after office
hours
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, which makes it difficult to fully relax. Another reason is the increasing workload. Companies often want to save money by hiring fewer staff, so each person has more responsibilities.
This
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 can lead to stress and burnout.
In addition
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, job competition is high, and many people feel they must
work
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 extra
hours
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 to keep their position or to get promoted. To reduce stress,
employers
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 can take some helpful actions.
First,
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they should encourage a healthy
work
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-life balance.
For example
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, they can avoid contacting staff outside of working
hours
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.
Also
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, offering flexible working
hours
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 or the option to
work
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 from home can help employees feel more in control of their time. Providing regular breaks during the day is
also
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 important for rest and productivity.
Furthermore
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,
employers
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 can support mental health by offering
counseling
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counselling
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 services or wellness programs. When workers feel supported, they are more likely to stay healthy and motivated. In conclusion, long
hours
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 and modern
work
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 demands are causing more stress for employees.
However
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, with the right support from
employers
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, it is possible to create a healthier and more balanced
work
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 environment.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and demonstrate a good understanding of the topic, particularly regarding challenges in the workplace.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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