some people say that the best way to improve public health is by incraesing sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have a little effect on puclic health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits have led to an increase in obesity, which has become a major concern nowadays. Some people believe that the best way of improving people's
health
is by increasing sports facilities,
however
, others say that
this
may not have
significant effect
Suggestion
a significant effect
significant effects
and other measures like reduction in fast
food
consumption is required.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue why dietary patterns should be modified, specially lowering the usage of high
caloric
Suggestion
calorie
food
items. Building more grounds, gyms and park would be helpful for people to stay fit. Researches have led it to be a proven fact that daily exercise is necessary for a person to lead a healthy life. Governments should encourage people by advertisement campaigns and passing laws to conduct more sports events in offices, schools and universities. According to
recent study
Suggestion
a recent study
in
japan
Suggestion
Japan
, people working in organizations which conducted sports events had lesser
health
related issues compared to the ones’ those didn’t.
Therefore
, daily workout is considered to be necessary irrespective of age, gender and profession.
However
,
others including
Accept comma addition
others, including
myself believe
Accept comma addition
myself, believe
that controlling daily diet plays a vital role in
human’s
Suggestion
human
health
. Curbing the usage of fast
food
and other high
caloric
Suggestion
calorie
food
such
as ice cream and cakes would be more helpful. These
food
items result in an increased
weight which
Accept comma addition
weight, which
is the primary root cause of several diseases.
For example
, public in Thailand consumes mostly vegetables and fruits in
there
of them or themselves
their
daily appetite, resulting in longer life expectancy and lesser
health
issues. It is
also
recommended that governments should increase taxes on unhealthy
food
items to reduce its consumption. In conclusion,
this
essay
firstly
, discussed how exercise is necessary for people to stay healthy and
secondly
, argued why controlling diet is more important as compared to physical exertion
Submitted by hammadawan076 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: