some people say that the best way to improve public health is by incraesing sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have a little effect on puclic health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #puclic #measures

Sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits have led to an increase in obesity, which has become a major concern nowadays. Some people believe that the best way of improving people's

health

is by increasing sports facilities,

however

, others say that

this

may not have

significant effect

Suggestion

a significant effect

significant effects

and other measures like reduction in fast

food

consumption is required.

This

essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue why dietary patterns should be modified, specially lowering the usage of high

caloric

Suggestion

calorie

food

items. Building more grounds, gyms and park would be helpful for people to stay fit. Researches have led it to be a proven fact that daily exercise is necessary for a person to lead a healthy life. Governments should encourage people by advertisement campaigns and passing laws to conduct more sports events in offices, schools and universities. According to

recent study

Suggestion

a recent study

japan

Suggestion

Japan

, people working in organizations which conducted sports events had lesser

health

related issues compared to the ones’ those didn’t.

Therefore

, daily workout is considered to be necessary irrespective of age, gender and profession.

However

others including

Accept comma addition

others, including

myself believe

Accept comma addition

myself, believe

that controlling daily diet plays a vital role in

human’s

Suggestion

human

health

. Curbing the usage of fast

food

and other high

caloric

Suggestion

calorie

food

such

as ice cream and cakes would be more helpful. These

food

items result in an increased

weight which

Accept comma addition

weight, which

is the primary root cause of several diseases.

For example

, public in Thailand consumes mostly vegetables and fruits in

there

of them or themselves

their

daily appetite, resulting in longer life expectancy and lesser

health

issues. It is

also

recommended that governments should increase taxes on unhealthy

food

items to reduce its consumption. In conclusion,

this

essay

firstly

, discussed how exercise is necessary for people to stay healthy and

secondly

, argued why controlling diet is more important as compared to physical exertion

Submitted by hammadawan076 on Sat Feb 22 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that the best way to improve public health is by incraesing sports facilities. others, however, say that this would have a little effect on puclic health and that other measures are required. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.

Topic-New technology have changed the way children spend their free time .Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

The working weeks should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?