IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, people are forced to retire when they reach a certain age. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#countries #people #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Compulsory
retirement
Use synonyms
 is common in many countries when members of the workforce reach 65 or 70, and
this
Linking Words
 has both pros and cons as will now be considered. The main advantage of requiring people to leave their job at a certain age is that it provides opportunities for younger members of staff to join the
company
Use synonyms
, often meaning that the
company
Use synonyms
 benefits from having lower wages to pay for the new recruit and
also
Linking Words
 having younger, potentially more dynamic employees.
This
Linking Words
 in turn could well give the
company
Use synonyms
 the required boost to continue being profitable. Another advantage is that some older people may choose to keep working more out of habit than enjoyment, and
therefore
Linking Words
 a mandatory
retirement
Use synonyms
 may encourage them to enjoy their life more, having the free time to engage in hobbies and interests
such
Linking Words
 as gardening. Which they may not have previously had time for up to that point. Yet there are significant disadvantages in forced
retirement
Use synonyms
. Older staff members often have more experience, and may have no desire to leave their job. Requiring them to leave could mean a skill shortage for the
company
Use synonyms
 as well as a feeling of discontent from the employee. Added to
that is
Linking Words
 the rising number of older people and the subsequent drain on resources if they are not working, if there are more elderly people on pensions or other benefits, the increased tax burden falls on the younger generation. In conclusion, there are both social and economic benefits of allowing older people to remain in employment if so desired, so compulsory
retirement
Use synonyms
 would not be recommended.
Submitted by davronqodirov1212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: