IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Regarding should scientific
research
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 taken care of and controlled by governments or private
companies
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,
this
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 event includes a lot of points. In my opinion, I believe that both carried out and managed scientific
research
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 can provide more
benefits
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 to society. There are several reasons to support the
government
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 in the management of experimental
research
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. The governments will consider the
benefits
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 of the public at first not profits when during the experiments.
This
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 means that
research
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 funded by the
government
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 will solve social issues like healthcare, environmental protection, and basic science experiments. These results can bring long-term
benefits
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 to the world, not merely commercial
benefits
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.
Moreover
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, the
government
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 can provide stable funding support because scientific
research
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 requires long-term patience, and it cannot have a result in a short time.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 can continue to invest and will not be affected by market influence. There are several reasons why private
companies
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 should
also
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 have control of scientific
research
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.
Firstly
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, during the
research
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 period, normally the participation of private
companies
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 can be more focused on innovation and efficiency. With the promotion of market competition, businesses can quickly transfer the result of
research
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 to products and services to consumers.
This
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 efficiency transformation progress can promote the development of both technology and the economy.
Secondly
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, private
companies
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 mainly multinational enterprises owning plenty of finance and resources can invest in
research
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 and development, which can solve the insufficient investment problem of the
government
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.
Finally
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, private
companies
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 can explore various
research
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 directions depending on the market’s needs and customers’ preferences.
As a result
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, they can provide the products and technologies that are related to reality which help to improve social development. In conclusion, my view is that during the progress and proceed of scientific
research
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, both the
government
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 and the private sector should join,
this
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 will lead to expanding their
benefits
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.
Consequently
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, I partially agree that the
government
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 should dominate scientific
research
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, but I
also
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 believe that the participation of the private sector is essential.

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a balanced view on the issue of government and private company involvement in scientific research. To achieve a higher score, consider providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific historical instances where government or private companies have successfully managed research could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas. However, make sure to remove minor grammatical errors for a smoother read. For example, the phrase "This means that research funded by the government will solve social issues..." could be tweaked for smoother readability.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to rephrase certain sentences for clarity. For example, the sentence "The governments will consider the benefits of the public at first not profits when during the experiments" could be structured more effectively as "Governments prioritize public benefits over profits when conducting experiments."
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion which effectively summarize your argument.
task response
Your ideas are well-developed, and you present a balanced perspective by discussing both government and private sector roles.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively ties together the arguments presented in the body of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • carried out
  • controlled
  • governments
  • private companies
  • unbiased
  • prioritize
  • profit
  • public interest
  • allocate resources
  • lucrative
  • collaboration
  • information sharing
  • confidential
  • competitive advantage
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