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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to build more public parks and sports facilities in new towns rather than shopping malls. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #towns #malls
It is debated that more investment should be made in building parks and sports clubs over shopping malls.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 suggestion due to
many benefits
Suggestion
the many benefits
 that these public places have to offer to residents of a
community
.
This
 essay
first
 outlines how public parks and sports clubs can promote healthy activities in communities followed by how these
place
Suggestion
places
 can bring people closer in a
community
. With parks in a close vicinity, people will have an increased motivation to go out
on
Suggestion
for
 a walk in the park, go running or jogging or generally exercise in the open. Exercising out in the open while inhaling fresh air is
most healthier option
Suggestion
a more healthier option
more healthier option
healthiest option
healthier option
most healthy option
. Children in the
community
 can play in the parks and sport
clubs thereby
Accept comma addition
clubs, thereby
 ensuring that get fitter and more active.
Therefore
, public parks and sports ground can push up the health index of a
community
. These public areas can not only be used for play and
exercise but
Accept comma addition
exercise, but
also
 for social gatherings. There are so many gathering people can host here like laughter club, welcome party
to
Suggestion
for
 new residents,
community
 meeting, pot-luck dinner etc. These events
brings
Suggestion
bring
have brought
 the people in
community
Suggestion
the community
 closer, creates friendship and build a tighter
community
.
For example
, Communities where there are
such
 public places, people tend to meet each other often and
this
 grows mutual friendship among them. In a nutshell, it is agreed that building more parks and sports ground can
nuture
help develop, help grow
nurture
 the health and social wellbeing of a region. They are
the worth the cost
Suggestion
worth the cost
 because of
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 they provide.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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