IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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According to the recent studies, most of the population are tur
ning toward
Suggestion
is turning
s a secured job which will help them to stay protected in their life which
on the other hand
Linking Words
 de
creasing the in
Accept comma addition
hand, decreasing
trest
toward
a sense of concern with and curiosity about someone or something
interest
s many other professions like painting, handicrafts and many more. The steps taken by the government to help them to stand in the society by providing financial aid is now
being a bit
Suggestion
are now being
controversial because "
money
Use synonyms
 spent for their development can be utilised for some other activities" is some people
opinio
Suggestion
peoples
n.
This
Linking Words
 essay will put forth the positives and negatives of supporting the artists and using
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 for some different purposes. In recent days, passion towards arts has drastically reduced
this
Linking Words
 is due to rapid increase in technology. Many students are intrest
ed to joi
having or showing interest; especially curiosity or fascination or concern
interested
n either in the Engineering Sciences or Medical sector. The best example is the increasing number of institutions for Engineering and Medical
this
Linking Words
 helps to understand the way they are put in to e
ndang
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
e
red list. To ma
Suggestion
the endangered list
ke arts to be one of the bet
ter carrie
Suggestion
the best
r
option
the particular occupation for which you are trained
career
for yo
Suggestion
options
ungsters, the best way is to provide economical support to these portion
of stu
Suggestion
portions
dents and the government is doing so.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some may think its waste o
f
Suggestion
a waste
money
Use synonyms
 because the world is developing and everyone are trying to put their efforts
to sustain in
Suggestion
efforts to sustain
this
Linking Words
 growing society. Taking
this
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 as a criteria, a common man's ideology is to compete
their
come or bring to a finish or an end
complete
life which in return pushing them towards opting the future trends that in return will fetch them hand fu
ll o
Suggestion
a hand
f
money
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of changing people
mind whatev
Suggestion
a person's mind
person's mind
peoples' mind
peoples mind
er may be the financial assistance will be a waste. To spend these the same amount of
money
Use synonyms
 to educate the poor will be lot mor
e h
Suggestion
a lot
elpful. Overall, In my opinion, the government’s idea to support the artists is a better idea because atleast
it wil
Suggestion
at least
l help the exsisti
ng people
presently existing
existing
 not to move in search of other jobs and I
also
Linking Words
 think
this
Linking Words
 may lead to increase the oppurtu
nity of cho
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
osing Arts as their carrier ways.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government patronage
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • unnecessary expense
  • essential services
  • democratize
  • private patronage
  • market forces
  • innovation
  • boost tourism
  • subjective nature
  • allocated ineffectively
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