The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
THE
CHART
ILLUSTRATED THE AMOUNT OF cash SPENT ON TEN COUNTRIES
CONSUMER ON TRAVEL IN 2014. UNITS ARE MEASURED IN BILLION USD. THE SOURCE OF CHART
WAS TAKEN FROM UNWTO. THE Correct article usage
THE CHART
COUNTRIES
NAME BASED FROM
Change preposition
ON
HIGHEST
POSITION ARE Correct article usage
THE HIGHEST
CHINA
. ALL COUNTRIES
FROM THE INFORMATION chart
CONTAINS THE WELL KNOWN COUNTRIES
, AFORESAID AS: CHINA
, THE UNITED STATES, GERMANY, THE UNITED KINGDOM, SINGAPORE, SOUTH KOREA, HONG KONG, INDIA, MALAYSIA, AND TAIWAN
. THE INFORMATION FROM chart
WAS USING MULTIPLE OF 20 SCALES WHICH STARTS FROM 0 TO 120. FORMERLY THE GRAPH WAS SHOWED
WITH Wrong verb form
SHOWN
HORIZONTAL
DISPLAY WHICH IS ACCOMPANIED BY THE SEPARATOR LINE IN THE SCALE WITH VALUE 4. Correct article usage
A HORIZONTAL
AFOREMENTIONED
WAS RELATED TO THE SOURCE FROM UNWTO
Correct article usage
THE AFOREMENTIONED
OVERALL
, THE
Correct article usage
apply
CHINA
SPENT MORE cash ON CONSUMER TRAVEL THAN OTHER
9 (NINE) Correct article usage
the OTHER
COUNTRIES
IN 2014. CHINA
SPENT MONEY ON TRAVEL WITH Correct article usage
A CONCENTRATE
CONCENTRATE
Replace the word
CONCENTRATION
110
US $Change preposition
OF 110
TONS
. AFTERWARD RATED ACCORDED TO THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY WITH 85 US $TONS
, AND
FORMERLY FOLLOWED BY THE UNITED KINGDOM WITH 55 US $Correct word choice
apply
TONS
, SOUTH KOREA AND HONG KONG WITH 20 US $TONS
, INDIA WITH 15 US $TONS
, LATER
MALAYSIA WITH 12 US $Correct word choice
AND LATER
TONS
. THE CLOSING RATED
IN Replace the word
RATE
GRAPHIC
SHOWED BY THE COUNTRY OF Correct article usage
THE GRAPHIC
TAIWAN
WITH 10 US $TONS
CONSUMED IN 2014
IN TERMS OF COMPARISON OF DONATION CONSUMER
Fix the agreement mistake
CONSUMERS
ON
Change preposition
IN
CHINA
WITH TAIWAN
WERE
CONTAINED 100 US $Unnecessary verb
apply
TONS
. AS THE chart
SHOW THE PURCHASER EXPENDED ON CHINA
IS 11 TIMES LARGER THAN TAIWAN
. THE ANOTHER FACT THAT READER
CAN Correct article usage
THE READER
TOOK
FROM THE GRAPH WAS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, UNITS OF SPENDING Change the verb form
TAKE
WAS
DECREASING FROM ONE TO ANOTHER. THERE ARE 2 (TWO) Correct subject-verb agreement
WERE
COUNTRIES
THAT HAVE THE EQUALIZATION OF SPENDING COSTUMERS
EACH OTHER. SOME Correct your spelling
CUSTOMERS
COUNTRIES
IN ASIA WAS
TELLING US TO CONTINUE AND DOMINATE COMPARED TO OTHER CONTINENTS IN YEARS OF 2014.
THE CONCLUSION FROM THE DIAGRAM WAS TELLING US ABOUT cash SPENT ON tour 2014. WE HAVE KNOWN THE Correct subject-verb agreement
WERE
PEOPLE
REPUBLIC OF Change noun form
PEOPLE'S
CHINA
BECOMES THE BIGGEST SPENDING PATRON IN 2014. CHINA
NEIGHBOURING Change noun form
CHINA'S
COUNTRIES
, HONG KONG AND TAIWAN
ARE INCLUDED. THAT Add a missing verb
IS FARTHER
FARTHER
RELATED TO Correct your spelling
FURTHER
NUMBER
OF POPULATIONS WHERE THERE ARE POTENTIALS FOR VERY BIG TRAVELSCorrect article usage
THE NUMBER
Submitted by agus.adi.sumerta7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, countries, china, taiwan, tons with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼