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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the centre of a small town called islip as it is now, and plan for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called islip as it is now, and plan for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #centre #town #islip #plan #development #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two maps illustrate the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 named Islip. The first map shows how is the
city
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 currently,
while
Linking Words
 the
second
Linking Words
 one figures the planned development of the
centre
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a complete transformation from few
facilities
Use synonyms
 in the area to many as planned. The most noticeable is that in the current status, the town
centre
Use synonyms
 has many shopping
facilities
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 alongside the main road, but in the planned development, the northern shops will be demolished and replaced by some other
facilities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Bus
Correct article usage
a Bus
show examples
 station, car park, new housing and a big shopping
centre
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. Another striking feature is that the main road, which connects the two roads from the west and east will be converted into a road only for pedestrians,
whereas
Linking Words
will
Correct article usage
a will
show examples
 be constructed a dual carriageway which will connect all the
facilities
Use synonyms
 of the
city
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centre
Use synonyms
, creating a sort of roundabout.
Besides
Linking Words
, the current east housing space near the park will be rebuilt into a new housing space by reducing the size of the park.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the southern small shops will remain with an increment of their size by decreasing the northern housing area.
Submitted by xu.roberto20867 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, centre, facilities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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