At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that currently the inhabitants of some countries are more young mature people than the older ones. While there are some serious negative consequences of
this
increment, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are some aspect of
this
increment of the young population that can cause some concern.
First
of all, there would be an increase of unemployment, which relates to the
number
of young people present in a determined area.
For example
, in Japan, more specifically in Tokyo, there are a large
number
of young people who immigrated here from the countryside,
this
means that there would be a high competitiveness and,
as a result
, the places of work would be limited and available only for those have a high background standard.
Furthermore
,
this
increase may affect the younger peoples mind set and rise the stress and,
consequently
, and increment of some disease
such
as depression.
On the other hand
, despite
such
grave issues, some advantages must be considered before giving a hasty opinion.
Firstly
, with a higher
number
of young people than older people, the government can provide the latters the pension thanks to the young citizen's contribution. In fact, elderly people can live peacefully without any concern about their pension since it is supported by the taxes paid by the younger.
Secondly
, a large
number
of adults can contribute a high availability of labour force, which can increase a country's economy significantly. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of
this
phenomenon are greater than the drawbacks, serious though there are.
Submitted by xu.roberto20867 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: