IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people believe that in a city,the best way to travel is by car,while other people argue that bicycle are a better way of travelling in city. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #travel #car #bicycle
In the ultra-modern epoch, traffic is surging day by day.
However
, it is an argued issue whether the masses are using a car for commuting in a megapolitan city is the best way or bikes. Even though with the help of a vehicle we can reach our destination in a minimum time duration, I believe that a bicycle is the best approach to commuting in the city. Commenting with the most significant reason, why should people use bicycles in urban areas. First and foremost, by the benefit of bikes, we can assist in saving the environment. Since those bikes come in two types one is manual and the other one is electrical and both do not emit any type of harmful gases To illustrate, Delhi, is the capital of India, it is a very busy area and those people who go to the near about 3 to 5 kilometre
then
 they adoption the bicycle because they know the value of the environment.
Hence
, through
this
 scenario, folks assist in saving the climate.
On the other hand
, the public reckons four-wheelers are the best approach to use them in urban areas. Owing to
this
, people can reach their destination in an easy and fast because it is more powerful. To exemplify, in any city, there is a minimum 40 to 50 kilometre per hour speed limit.
Thus
, we can easily reach any corner of the urban area on time. In conclusion,
Although
 a car can easy and fast way to reach anywhere, I believe that a bike is the best way to save our environment.
Submitted by harmanjotdhindsa on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce a wider variety of linking words to improve the fluency between sentences and paragraphs. This could make your argument more cohesive and enhance reader understanding.
task achievement
Include a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion. Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored comprehensively and equally to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
To increase the specificity and relevance of your examples, provide more detailed scenarios or data. For instance, instead of vaguely mentioning the value of the environment in Delhi, include specific environmental benefits or statistics related to bicycle use.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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