(1) Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the most conspicuous trends in today's life is a colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that children's are undisciplined because of the parents are busy with their career growth. There is a widespread worry that it will lead to myriads concern in one’s life.
This
essay strongly agrees that parents are busy with their career advancement and children's grow in an undisciplined manner.
Firstly
,
this
study will discuss the fact of spending more quality time with their children’s and
secondly
, discuss how to avoid over commitment to support their family needs.
First
of all, spending more space has proven to be successful in children's growth.
This
type of commitment to children's will help them to grow mentally and physically. Parents are able to guide the children to take correct decision’s and self-motive in all other aspects. The Asian countries are a prime example, where parents work under high pressure jobs and earn more money to support their family need's, while at the same point unable to guide their children's from undisciplined development.
On the other hand
that parents avoid their luxury lifestyle with minimum committal for family requirements. Parents' work in high pressure jobs and earn more money for their growth and not being able to afford quality space with children's.
For instance
, living for social status, buying expensive things, other social activities which are harmful in children's advancement. In the views of argument mentioned above, one can conclude, children’s will grow undisciplined if their parents busy with their career enhancement.
This
paper suggests that limiting the requirements of needs and
this
article
also
suggested that spending quality time with children’s can improve their advancement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: