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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

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Over
last
 the thirty years,
car
ownership
 has become more common in human life.
This
 situation is causing a lot of trouble for
people
, forcing them to deal with big traffic congestion and air pollution. How true is
this
 statement and what can be done to reduce
car
ownership
? The problem with increased
car
ownership
 significantly affected cities in several ways. To exemplify, some roads are not adapted to heavy congestion of vehicles. Because of
this
,
people
 aren’t able to get to their jobs or educational institutions on time.
Moreover
,
this
 isn’t beneficial for the state which needs to stimulate the labour market, education and economic sectors. The second problem is air pollution which occurs
due to
 the large amount of harmful gases that come out of cars. Nature and health of
people
 are suffering as it becomes unbearable to live in
such
 places. In my opinion, the problem with increased
car
ownership
 can be solved by developing transport infrastructure.
Thus
, states should buy more buses and trams and expand their metro system. With
such
 reforms, the load on the roads will decrease and more
people
 will switch to public transport which is beneficial for governments.
In addition
, air pollution will
also
 decrease rapidly because of these measures as there will be fewer and fewer vehicles on the roads producing toxic gas emissions. These changes can
Overall
,
this
 is a fact that the popularity of
car
ownership
 has increased dramatically over the
last
 thirty years. Unfortunately,
this
 has created a lot of problems that need to be solved.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on transportation infrastructure as a compelling solution.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and data to support the impact of increased car ownership.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph fully develops one central idea.
coherence cohesion
Use varied linking words to enhance the flow between sentences.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main issues of traffic congestion and air pollution effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the key points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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