IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some poeople think it is more important to spend moeny on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that more money should be invested in motor lanes and
roads
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 because they are more essential than public transport schemes including trams and railways. I totally agree with
this
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 view as doing so can help reduce both transportation problems and pollution in the city Nowadays, buying and driving a private car or motorbike is increasingly popular with a lot of people,
therefore
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, it is necessary to have infrastructures that may fulfil the drivers’ demand.
This
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 means that the governments can allocate money to refurbish the facilities on
roads
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 or construct safety lanes for bikers. If these are done correctly, they will contribute to mitigating the number of accidents and enhance the drivers’ experience.
For instance
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, better visuals of the signs on highways can easily drag people’s attention which forces them, to obey the rules and
thus
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 create a safe system on the road.
Although
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 it is undeniable that traffic issues are inevitable, decreasing the chance of them occurring can help people drive less stressfully and increase their focus on the road. Another beneficial result
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
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 from the expense on
roads
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 is lowering the pollution effects. Specifically, with more proficient techniques
such
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 as overpassing, less traffic congestion is a guaranteed outcome which can minimize the volume of gases emitted from vehicles,
hence
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, improving the air quality.
Additionally
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, to cope with the fact that many people tend to litter on the
roads
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while
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 travelling, the government can install robots to clean
this
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 garbage and maintain hygiene. Ultimately, most of the inner cities’ environmental problems could be solved by pouring more money into upgrading
roads
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’ features. In conclusion, I argue that the governments should spend more on ameliorating lanes’ structure and applying advanced techniques to them so as to provide residents with
awell-organized
Correct your spelling
a well-organized
well-organized
 systems.

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grammar
Although the essay is generally well-structured, there are some minor inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing. For instance, in the first sentence, 'motor lanes' might be better phrased as 'highways and motorways'. Additionally, minor grammar issues such as 'the drivers’ demand' should be 'drivers’ demands' for consistency. Refining these could improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more nuanced discussion of the benefits of investing in public transport systems. Presenting a counter-argument can demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue and strengthen your position. For instance, mention potential drawbacks of not investing in public transport, such as increased traffic congestion or higher carbon footprint.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
coherence
Each paragraph deals with a distinct point and these points are well-connected, contributing to the logical structure of the essay.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as better visuals of signs on highways and the installation of cleaning robots, helps to support your argument.
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