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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows information about different species of birds observed in Woodchuck county at different times of the year.

The chart below shows information about different species of birds observed in Woodchuck county at different times of the year.
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The table above
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the 8 detected
Use synonyms
birds
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bird
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species
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. they were
observered
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observed
 in two sessions:
winter
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 and
summer
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. each of the listed
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birds
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bird
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species
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were
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was
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 observed in Woodchuck County.
Over all
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Overall
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, most
birds
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 appeared in
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Add an article
the summer
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summer
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summertime
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time
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.the less amount spotted in
winter
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,
while
Linking Words
 three of the
birds
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typs
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types
 observed in both
winter
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 and
summer
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. that means they are not
a
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apply
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migrent
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migrant
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birds
Fix the agreement mistake
bird
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.
Summer
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 in
Woodchuch
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Woodchuck
 is the
favorate
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favourite
 period of
time
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 to spend for the eight
species
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.
birds
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seems
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seem
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 to like Woodchuck's
summer
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 indeed, as the table
showes
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shows
. Clearly,
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summer
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summertime
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time
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 scored the most viewed bird
species
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.Bluebirds, Mockingbirds, Orioles and
woodeckers
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woodpeckers
 all showed up in
this
Linking Words
 session.Woodchuck County would be an
exibition
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exhibition
 of
birds
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. Meanwhile,
winter
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time
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 observed relatively only one type called Juncos.Juncos prefer to spend
summer
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 somewhere else.
however
Linking Words
, Woodpeckers, Crows and Cardinals have been seen
in
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at
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 both times of the year. they must be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Woodchunck
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Woodchuck
 based
birds
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.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birds, species, winter, summer, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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