Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People
tend to spend time together, work together, and eventually live together, which seems to be the nature of human beings.
However
, an intimate relationship can
also
lead to endless arguments and fights. That's why it's crucial for us to seek a way to maintain a proper balance between any kind of relationship in life.
Competition
in school or at work is generally considered as a motivation for one to achieve a better outcome.
For example
, back when I was at school, there was a mechanism designed to record scores that all students got on every quiz and exam, and the teacher would show the final results of performance to everyone in
class
Add an article
the class
show examples
at the end
of the semester. The purpose of
this
action wasn't only for students to keep track of their own studies, but
also
a channel to remind
people
of the ranking they were among their classmates , and hopefully, give them a reason and stimulation for being afraid of leaving behind,
as a consequence
, to study harder and get a higher score.
On the other hand
, there is no doubt that too much
competition
often brings a lack of efficiency in productivity, especially for work that requires a high proportion of teamwork.
People
might focus so much on the
competition
that they oversee the power of cooperation can actually do. In my opinion,
competition
and collaboration are both essential for
people
to strive to make our society a better place. They just have to be applied to a moderate extent to create a friendly environment where we can make progress and still perfectly cooperate with others at the same time.
Submitted by pizzaok851107 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider adding more distinct paragraphs for each main idea to improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Include more diverse examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The example from personal experience effectively illustrates the competitive aspect of schooling.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced explanation of both views, showing a thoughtful approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: