Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

#children #television #time #measures

Nowadays, the problem of

children

getting addicted to

programs has been receiving a great deal of public attention.

Although

this

issue can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to address

this

There are a number of compelling reasons why

kids

watch much more television than spend

time

on active or creative things.

First,

since

nature

Correct article usage

the nature

show examples

children

is curious, they tend to watch

programs containing attractive and eye-catching

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

. In fact, these programs provide visual and sound effects, which

evokes

Correct subject-verb agreement

evoke

show examples

children

’s curiosity.

Second,

by doing work and earning money constantly to meet the standard of living, parents have no choice but to leave their

kids

with

This

means that they are able to pay less attention to them, leading to

kids

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

reliant

Change preposition

show examples

watching

for mental rewards.

Nevertheless

, there are at least two actions

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

tackle

this

issue.

First,

in order to limit their

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

daily screen

time

, parents should use

Correct article usage

a TV

show examples

controller for active timing control.

This

means that they have no choice but to participate

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

activities,

such

as painting or music courses, which is able to break a screen habit in

children

Second,

if parents spend

time

taking care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

offspring, they tend to pay less attention to

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing homework or doing outdoor activities

together with

their

children

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

provides them

fun

Change preposition

with fun

show examples

alternatives, which helps them

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not get addicted to

virtual

Add an article

the virtual

a virtual

show examples

world. In conclusion, there are various reasons why

children

watch

too much as

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

less

time

on active or creative activities. But,

this

negative status could be tackled by

set

Add an article

a set

show examples

of appropriate solutions

Submitted by anhchangngonghinh11376 on Wed Feb 26 2020

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Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why children watch more TV than engage in active or creative activities and suggests measures to tackle this issue. More specific examples supporting the main points would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured framework for the discussion. Additionally, the progression of ideas is logical and coherent. However, linking words and more cohesive devices could further enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. however, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinion about this subject?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't. what's your opinion?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?