Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

Nowadays, the problem of
children
getting addicted to
TV
programs has been receiving a great deal of public attention.
Although
this
issue can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to address
this
There are a number of compelling reasons why
kids
watch much more television than spend
time
on active or creative things.
First,
since
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
show examples
of
children
is curious, they tend to watch
TV
programs containing attractive and eye-catching
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. In fact, these programs provide visual and sound effects, which
evokes
Correct subject-verb agreement
evoke
show examples
children
’s curiosity.
Second,
by doing work and earning money constantly to meet the standard of living, parents have no choice but to leave their
kids
with
TV
.
This
means that they are able to pay less attention to them, leading to
kids
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
reliant
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
watching
TV
for mental rewards.
Nevertheless
, there are at least two actions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
tackle
this
issue.
First,
in order to limit their
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
daily screen
time
, parents should use
TV
Correct article usage
a TV
show examples
controller for active timing control.
This
means that they have no choice but to participate
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
activities,
such
as painting or music courses, which is able to break a screen habit in
children
.
Second,
if parents spend
time
taking care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
offspring, they tend to pay less attention to
TV
.
For example
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing homework or doing outdoor activities
together with
their
children
,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provides them
fun
Change preposition
with fun
show examples
alternatives, which helps them
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not get addicted to
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
show examples
world. In conclusion, there are various reasons why
children
watch
TV
too much as
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
less
time
on active or creative activities. But,
this
negative status could be tackled by
set
Add an article
a set
show examples
of appropriate solutions
Submitted by anhchangngonghinh11376 on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why children watch more TV than engage in active or creative activities and suggests measures to tackle this issue. More specific examples supporting the main points would strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured framework for the discussion. Additionally, the progression of ideas is logical and coherent. However, linking words and more cohesive devices could further enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion

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