Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

#children #television #time #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, the problem of

children

Use synonyms

getting addicted to

Use synonyms

programs has been receiving a great deal of public attention.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can be attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to address

this

Linking Words

There are a number of compelling reasons why

kids

Use synonyms

watch much more television than spend

time

Use synonyms

on active or creative things.

First,

Linking Words

since

nature

Correct article usage

the nature

show examples

children

Use synonyms

is curious, they tend to watch

Use synonyms

programs containing attractive and eye-catching

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

. In fact, these programs provide visual and sound effects, which

evokes

Correct subject-verb agreement

evoke

show examples

children

Use synonyms

’s curiosity.

Second,

Linking Words

by doing work and earning money constantly to meet the standard of living, parents have no choice but to leave their

kids

Use synonyms

with

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means that they are able to pay less attention to them, leading to

kids

Use synonyms

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

reliant

Change preposition

show examples

watching

Use synonyms

for mental rewards.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are at least two actions

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

tackle

this

Linking Words

issue.

First,

Linking Words

in order to limit their

Use synonyms

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

daily screen

time

Use synonyms

, parents should use

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a TV

show examples

controller for active timing control.

This

Linking Words

means that they have no choice but to participate

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

activities,

such

Linking Words

as painting or music courses, which is able to break a screen habit in

children

Use synonyms

Second,

Linking Words

if parents spend

time

Use synonyms

taking care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

offspring, they tend to pay less attention to

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

doing homework or doing outdoor activities

together with

Linking Words

their

children

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

provides them

fun

Change preposition

with fun

show examples

alternatives, which helps them

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not get addicted to

virtual

Add an article

the virtual

a virtual

show examples

world. In conclusion, there are various reasons why

children

Use synonyms

watch

Use synonyms

too much as

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

less

time

Use synonyms

on active or creative activities. But,

this

Linking Words

negative status could be tackled by

set

Add an article

a set

show examples

of appropriate solutions

Submitted by anhchangngonghinh11376 on Wed Feb 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why children watch more TV than engage in active or creative activities and suggests measures to tackle this issue. More specific examples supporting the main points would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured framework for the discussion. Additionally, the progression of ideas is logical and coherent. However, linking words and more cohesive devices could further enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country?
In the current era, many people moving to live healthy lifestyles. There are two ways that people can be healthy; doing exercise and having a diet schedule. In this essay, you would expect the reasons why people should be healthy and their benefits in the following paragraphs with examples and further explanations.
5
band
Some people believe that schoolchildren should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate over homework in education is longstanding, with proponents and opponents both presenting valid arguments.
5.5
band
Some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people use a lot of fuel, because of the large number of cars, the impact of fuel on the environment is very strong, but despite this, people continue to pollute the environment. Currently, various solutions are being considered by the government to prevent this, an example of this is the increase in fuel.
7
band
Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?
Some children often play console games rather than do outdoor sports. It is because young can enjoy playing mobile games for not moving and it can give them easy dopamine. For that problem, parents should not give the phone to a child for a long and give them only for 1-2 hours.
<4
band
Open plan office no walls, no barriers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
I wish just a simple life. Peaceful, happy, most importantly, satisfied. Every day I add one by one I build your dreams at the end of his life that life. No rush, do not compete with others, but also will not deviate.

Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? What measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country?

Some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?

Open plan office no walls, no barriers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?