IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Since most information about culture and history can be found on the internet, museum are not needed anymore.To what extent do you agree?

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Use synonyms
Museum
Suggestion
The museum
 has a vital role to keep alive the past and tradition of a country or a nation. Even though
information
Use synonyms
 regarding
history
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 and culture
are
Suggestion
is
 available on the
internet
Use synonyms
,
museum
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 has its own importance to uphold the
information
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 in a vivid way. In my opinion, to have a primary idea, sources of
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 can be useful, while
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 is still essential to have a depth knowledge.  There is no doubt that
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 contains plenty of
information
Use synonyms
 about
Use synonyms
history
Suggestion
the history
 of mankind and tradition of a nation. While people can easily educate themselves by surfing through the various sources of
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
,
this
Linking Words
 does not mean that
necessity
Suggestion
the necessity
 of
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 has reduced.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
information
Use synonyms
 over
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 is not accurate as always.
Hence
Linking Words
, people could have wrong
information
Use synonyms
 about other cultures or
history
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, searching on
internet
Use synonyms
 about world war 2, different types of
information
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 will appear, which confuse a person about what to accept.
Therefore
Linking Words
, confusion can be taken away by visiting a
museum
Use synonyms
 and can
also
Linking Words
 have trustworthy
information
Use synonyms
 regarding the
history
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 of world war 2.
Secondly
Linking Words
, To study our past,
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 still has its own importance.
For instance
Linking Words
, scientists are always studying the fossil of
dinosorous
any of numerous extinct terrestrial reptiles of the Mesozoic era
dinosaurs
 to know our
history
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 let us to experience the culture and
history
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 in person, while it is totally impossible through
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
.  To conclude,
internet
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 and
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museum both
Accept comma addition
museum, both
 play
an
Suggestion
a
 vital role to enlighten about the past and tradition of mankind.
Use synonyms
Internet
Suggestion
The internet
 can be used to gain basic idea, while
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 will ensure the accuracy of the
information
Use synonyms
.

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