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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. To what extent do you agree with either sentence?

#people #globalization #loss #identity #world #peace #harmony #sentence
The discussion about the pros and cons of
globalization
 has been occurring throughout the
world
. It is a fact that sharing among a wider range of people in all components would be beneficial for most countries.
As a result
 of peace and the international relations, the development of
globalization
 is undoubted. It is obvious that
globalization
 is about the economic benefit. Throughout history, the most common reason of wars is economic interest (power) that one country’s wish to take control of another country’s wealth. When these countries try to communicate about their result, the economic benefit stand at
first
,
such
 as China, India and some countries in the Silk Road. Because of the huge profit of
this
 trade route, opening long-distance political relations between their civilizations was rapidly growing. In fact, the economic benefits strengthen the relationship among countries which is the catalyst for
world
 peace. From another point of view,
globalization
 is how the
world
 is shrinking in the sense that people can communicate with each other by the use of technology, especially the internet.
This
 diminishes the physical boundaries of places on the
world
 and cultural aspect.
As a result
,
globalization
 makes a social change. Take some international events at the beginning of 2020 as examples. When Australia suffered from bush fires, many countries donated to rescue and give treatments to the injured animal, especially the endangered one. By doing so, not only the natural surface of Australia is saved, but the
world
’s environmental status is
also
 balanced and improved. Another example is that the fast-spreading of virus in China. The collaboration and sharing information among scientists around the
world
 in the racing to find a treatment saves a lot of time. Nowadays,
globalization
 affects many others aspects of human lives. The society is open multilateral and has more abundance.
Therefore
,
globalization
 that caused by harmony is still an upward trend in the
next
 few years and keeps the global peace by itself.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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