IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, bussiness and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely Discuss both these views an give your own opinion

#people #information #research #bussiness #world #give
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Most research has resulted in valuable insights that are implemented continuously for future developments.
People
 may perceive it differently, some believe the
information
 can be opened to the public,
while
 others prefer to keep it locked from the public
due to
 some reasons. Personally, I side with making valuable
information
 accessible for
people
 rather than keeping it confidential. Researchers would be easier to acquire the
information
 by looking at previous findings. It would be useful for them to elevate their research, which can
also
 contribute to making a new invention
that is
 renewed and refined for improving other principles in various aspects.
For example
, specifically in medical fields, new techniques that can cure a malignant disease
such
 as cancer, have been found by scientists by utilizing historical records of the patients and details regarding the advanced technology,
This
 collective
information
 enhances the potential of reducing cancer.
On the other hand
, some scientists may view valuable
information
 as a precious asset to be shared widely.
Thus
, the
information
 usually requires fees to be accessed by the public to honour the respective scientist who pulls out big efforts to obtain it.
Nevertheless
, not many
people
 can afford the fee and it could hinder them continue their explorations, which
also
 can prevent new discoveries that would probably build the future. To summarize, most researchers definitely have valid reasonings and the right to determine whether they permit other
people
 to access or use the
information
 or maintain exclusivity.
However
, considering the transformative impacts that other scientists could make by valuing the
information
,
then
 it would be better to release the full
information
 to the public as a supportive approach to creating big impacts on the world.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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task response
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion on both views, maintaining a balanced perspective before presenting your opinion clearly. However, ensure to expand a bit more on the possible benefits of restricted information to show a deeper understanding of this viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each main idea in your paragraphs is distinctly introduced and concluded, rather than relying on implicit transitions.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and focused introduction and conclusion, aligning well with the task and ensuring clarity to the reader.
task response
Clear, logical arguments are maintained throughout, especially with the use of examples such as advancements in the medical field.
task response
The use of specific examples about scientific progress is effective in supporting the main arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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