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Writing Samples
Band 6

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phone #development
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Technology innovation has remarkably changed our lifestyle. More and more people these days rely on mobile devices and networking to socialize and communicate.
Although
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 phones and the internet provide a convenient way of living, the over reliance will have a negative impact. One problem is that using phones and networking too long can post threat on people's health. There are tons of attractive games and videos available, and the fast-speed internet allows people to keep connected at any place. The long screen time can impair their vision and leads to an inactive lifestyle.  Another issue is that the popularity of using electronic devices and net can
also
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 expose users to cyber crime. Online cloud storage and mobile applications allow people to store varieties of things like music, picture, and documents, and people may rely those functions to memorize lots of things including password, keychain, and even bank card. These information may be leaked without awareness, and they may risk of losing money and personal information.
In contrast
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, the improvement of the cyberspace makes it possible for people to gain knowledge and broaden their horizons. People can use distance learning applications to study a new skill, and with the use of the internet, people are able to make friends from different countries. In conclusion, the development of technology opens a door for people to explore;
however
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, it is crucial to use it in a proper way.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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