The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

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Nowadays, the labour market is becoming increasingly competitive, and a variety of old candidates must fight with the young ones to get an occupation.

This

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essay attempts to shed light on the problems that have resulted from

this

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tendency before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle them. There are two major problems that the older generation has to encounter when contending against the young.

Firstly

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, the opportunity to have a decent profession for the elderly is narrowed

due to

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age discrimination. In fact, various firms believe that older job seekers are not able to acquire knowledge of technology quickly or use modern devices fluently,

such

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as laptops or smartphones, and

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fallacy might lead them to fail the interviews even if they satisfy the job description.

Secondly

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, the health of older applicants might be harmed.

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is because they need to enhance their performance to catch up with the young's pace by working overtime, thereby causing serious mental problems

such

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as depression, anxiety, and overthinking, which could reduce the quality of their life. To combat these worrying issues, t

Correct your spelling

The

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following feasible steps should be taken. One remedy is that governing bodies should stop discrimination against older workers by passing radical laws.

For example

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, imposing heavy fines might prevent companies from having biased outlooks and behaving unfairly with aged employees, which could give them an equal chance to fill the vacancy.

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, the aged should find a suitable occupation. To be more specific, they should apply for employment

that is

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relevant to their previous work rather than a new field.

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this

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choice could not only utilize their experience and expertise to adopt the requirements of that position but

also

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cultivate other relevant job skills to become a professional manager and guide them to a successful career path. In conclusion, there are some serious repercussions attributable to the fierce rivalry between the elderly and the young in the labour market, and it is crucial that the aforementioned measures be implemented to deal with these issues.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Wed Mar 06 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure to fully respond to all parts of the task. The essay lacks a complete conclusion, which is essential for rounding off your argument and solidifying your position. Make sure to revisit the topic and summarize your main points and solutions in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, work on the organization of your ideas by introducing them in a logical order and linking them clearly. While your essay generally follows a logical structure, the abrupt end without a conclusion disrupts the flow. Moreover, use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

To further support your main points, include more specific examples throughout your essay. Examples add depth to your arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the topic. They can be drawn from real-life situations, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate the issues or solutions you are discussing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Ageism
Generational divide
Technological advancements
Skills gap
Job scarcity
Industry preferences
Pension expenditure
Financial planning
Employability
Retraining programs
Upskilling opportunities

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The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. what are the reasons?how can we solve this problem?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook)have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society?To what extent do you agree? In the current world, The usage of technology is constantly on the rise.