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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities
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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn
money
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. They believe, in
this
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 way, they will learn additional skills other than studies and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their childhood
life
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 in working while they are still studying. In my opinion, availing a part-time job during once educational
life
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 could make them a disciplined person, but
this
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 work-
life
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 balance may
also
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 stimulate the stress level of the students. On the one hand, most of the teenagers started to involve themselves in some works in their free time.
Additionally
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, some started to earn
money
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 through
this
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.
For example
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, once the study time is over, during their leisure hours, they are trying to prove themselves to the outside world by struggling to get a work to do and for
this
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 plethora of efforts are probably taken from the students side.
On the other hand
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, contradicting, though all these jobs have their advantages in enhancing the personal character and independence of an individual,
however
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,
this
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 is leading them to sacrifice the memorable and enjoyable childhood days in gaining
money
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. In consequence, some get stressed out and are
finally
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 exhausted since they are missing their whole
life
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 running for the
money
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 and forgetting the extracurricular activities
such
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 as sports, swimming and so on.
For instance
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, a person may be talented in gaining some additional knowledge in the curriculum, but he might not be able to succeed, which is because of other additional responsibilities which will be obviously running in their mind. To conclude,
Although
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 we are getting a chance to know about society and get disciplined by opting for a part-time job,
this
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 is anyway creating more pressure for an individual student.
Hence
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, it is better to avoid working in part-time jobs, still, we complete our student
life
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 properly with good grades. Because I believe, being a part of an organization will definitely pull a student down in his educational
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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