Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #students #subjects #future #careers #music #sports

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In today’s fast-paced society, various high-income job vacancies require more professional

skills

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so parents have become more and more conscious of the importance of studying at school.

While

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many people have an opinion of emphasizing only academic

subjects

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, others oppose

this

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idea because of the necessity of other

subjects

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. From my perspective, it is essential for

students

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to strike a balance at school. It is understandable that if the curriculum is merely about the main disciplines,

students

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may be provided foundational knowledge and have more time to enhance their

skills

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For instance

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, in today’s educational program, English is one of the major

subjects

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with four lessons per week.

However

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students

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still find no time to improve their speaking

skills

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, which leads to the fact that most graduates cannot speak English fluently unless they attend extra classes in the evening. What is more, that school program emphasizes academic

subjects

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such

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as Math

, Science

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and science

contributes

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and contributes

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to advancing the

students

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’ problem-solving abilities.

Thus

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, it can be seen that there are some benefits to focusing on academic areas.

On the other hand

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, other disciplines including music and P.E.

also

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play a crucial part in the student’s

overall

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well-being.

Firstly

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, these

subjects

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help the learners not only unwind after many stressful hours of studying but

also

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promote life

skills

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For example

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, playing team sports

such

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as football is a perfect chance for them to learn about time management

skills

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and teamwork

skills

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which are both vital when they grow up. The second highlight is that many talents in music and art may be discovered in these lessons. In fact, not every person is good at academic fields and if they are talented in specialized

subjects

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, they have numerous opportunities to have good careers in the future. In conclusion, in my opinion, it is unnecessary to eliminate talented

subjects

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because of

many

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the many

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upsides

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they

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brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

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to the

students

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including physical and spiritual aspects. That

students

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strike a balance between academic disciplines and specialized ones may help them to have a brighter future.

Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on Fri Apr 26 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully expanded upon, supporting your arguments with specific examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, using a range of linking words and phrases effectively.

lexical resource

Including a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary could enhance the linguistic range of your essay, increasing its overall impact.

task achievement

You've effectively discussed both views on the importance of academic and non-academic subjects in schools, presenting a balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a reasoned conclusion reflecting your own view.

task achievement

Providing specific examples, such as the English lesson frequency and its impact, strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is more important to spead money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as rrailways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than at secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Large-scale festival attend tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture discuss the advantages and disadvantages.