Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today’s fast-paced society, various high-income job vacancies require more professional
skills
so parents have become more and more conscious of the importance of studying at school. While
many people have an opinion of emphasizing only academic subjects
, others oppose this
idea because of the necessity of other subjects
. From my perspective, it is essential for students
to strike a balance at school.
It is understandable that if the curriculum is merely about the main disciplines, students
may be provided foundational knowledge and have more time to enhance their skills
. For instance
, in today’s educational program, English is one of the major subjects
with four lessons per week. However
, students
still find no time to improve their speaking skills
, which leads to the fact that most graduates cannot speak English fluently unless they attend extra classes in the evening. What is more, that school program emphasizes academic subjects
such
as Math, Science
Correct your spelling
and science
contributes
to advancing the Correct word choice
and contributes
students
’ problem-solving abilities. Thus
, it can be seen that there are some benefits to focusing on academic areas.
On the other hand
, other disciplines including music and P.E. also
play a crucial part in the student’s overall
well-being. Firstly
, these subjects
help the learners not only unwind after many stressful hours of studying but also
promote life skills
. For example
, playing team sports such
as football is a perfect chance for them to learn about time management skills
and teamwork skills
which are both vital when they grow up. The second highlight is that many talents in music and art may be discovered in these lessons. In fact, not every person is good at academic fields and if they are talented in specialized subjects
, they have numerous opportunities to have good careers in the future.
In conclusion, in my opinion, it is unnecessary to eliminate talented subjects
because of many
upsides Correct article usage
the many
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
brings
to the Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
students
including physical and spiritual aspects. That students
strike a balance between academic disciplines and specialized ones may help them to have a brighter future.Submitted by bichngoc.ngochoa on
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully expanded upon, supporting your arguments with specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, using a range of linking words and phrases effectively.
lexical resource
Including a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary could enhance the linguistic range of your essay, increasing its overall impact.
task achievement
You've effectively discussed both views on the importance of academic and non-academic subjects in schools, presenting a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a reasoned conclusion reflecting your own view.
task achievement
Providing specific examples, such as the English lesson frequency and its impact, strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.