IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Road transport is taking over rail services.Discuss the positive and negative effects of this development.Is this situation true for your country?

Increasing
Correct article usage
The increasing
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 popularity of road transport has become a controversial issue in the modern world.People have shown their concern over its increasing threat throughout the world, and my country is no exception.
Also
Linking Words
, it has given birth to the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
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 it has an adverse effect on the rail services or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
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This
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 essay will take into consideration both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative effects of
such
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 development. On the positive side, First of all, it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most easily accessible mode of transportation in today's contemporary world.
In other words
Linking Words
, a huge network of
roads
Use synonyms
 is responsible for the movement of individuals and
Correct article usage
the transportations
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transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 of goods from one part of the country to another in a much
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
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 manner.
Furthermore
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, it provides door-to-door service.Let us consider huge trucks which are supplying and carrying different commodities of daily needs to the areas where these are present in a limited amount.A
particular
Change the adjective
particularly
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 good example of
this
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 is the supply of grains,
such
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 as wheat,
rice
Correct word choice
and rice
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, from states like Haryana and Punjab where these are abundantly available.
Also
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, various bus services are connecting people from remote areas to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban areas where there are no rail networks.
This
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 way,
such
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 type of transportation facility is proving helpful in making life easier. In my country, India tremendous amount of traffic is shifting towards
roads
Use synonyms
 from the rail. On the downside, it is not suitable for travelling for long distances.
Although
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 I certainly agree that by using private vehicles, particularly cars anyone can make their journey smooth, it is not possible for the poor sections of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society who cannot afford to buy private vehicles.
Thus
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 they are not left with any options
rather
Correct your spelling
other
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 than railways.
Moreover
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, excessive vehicles on the
roads
Use synonyms
 are creating
a
Remove the article
apply
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havoc in the life of common people.Since it is promoting traffic on
roads
Use synonyms
 and eventually the quality of air is
also
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 declining at its
worse
Correct word choice
worst
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 rate.
To conclude
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, despite having certain disadvantages, road transport has definitely an edge over the other.
That is
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 why it is becoming popular.

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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses both positive and negative effects of road transport taking over rail services. However, the introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly structured and developed.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing the positive and negative effects of road transport taking over rail services. It also provides relevant examples to support the points. However, the response could be more comprehensive and clear in presenting the ideas.
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