IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Road transport is taking over rail services.Discuss the positive and negative effects of this development.Is this situation true for your country?

#road #transport #rail #services #effects #development #situation #country
Increasing
Correct article usage
The increasing
show examples
 popularity of road transport has become a controversial issue in the modern world.People have shown their concern over its increasing threat throughout the world, and my country is no exception.
Also
, it has given birth to the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
 it has an adverse effect on the rail services or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
This
 essay will take into consideration both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative effects of
such
 development. On the positive side, First of all, it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most easily accessible mode of transportation in today's contemporary world.
In other words
, a huge network of
roads
 is responsible for the movement of individuals and
Correct article usage
the transportations
show examples
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 of goods from one part of the country to another in a much
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 manner.
Furthermore
, it provides door-to-door service.Let us consider huge trucks which are supplying and carrying different commodities of daily needs to the areas where these are present in a limited amount.A
particular
Change the adjective
particularly
show examples
 good example of
this
 is the supply of grains,
such
 as wheat,
rice
Correct word choice
and rice
show examples
, from states like Haryana and Punjab where these are abundantly available.
Also
, various bus services are connecting people from remote areas to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban areas where there are no rail networks.
This
 way,
such
 type of transportation facility is proving helpful in making life easier. In my country, India tremendous amount of traffic is shifting towards
roads
 from the rail. On the downside, it is not suitable for travelling for long distances.
Although
 I certainly agree that by using private vehicles, particularly cars anyone can make their journey smooth, it is not possible for the poor sections of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society who cannot afford to buy private vehicles.
Thus
 they are not left with any options
rather
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than railways.
Moreover
, excessive vehicles on the
roads
 are creating
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
havoc in the life of common people.Since it is promoting traffic on
roads
 and eventually the quality of air is
also
 declining at its
worse
Correct word choice
worst
show examples
 rate.
To conclude
, despite having certain disadvantages, road transport has definitely an edge over the other.
That is
 why it is becoming popular.
Submitted by kajalmaan.16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay addresses both positive and negative effects of road transport taking over rail services. However, the introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly structured and developed.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing the positive and negative effects of road transport taking over rail services. It also provides relevant examples to support the points. However, the response could be more comprehensive and clear in presenting the ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: