IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

'There should be no legal age for drinking.' Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#age #support
Currently there is a legal
age
 for drinking of
alchohol
a liquor or brew containing alcohol as the active agent
alcohol
 in many countries,
for
example you
Accept comma addition
example, you
 have to be 18 years in The Netherlands and 21 year in the United States of America.
This
 minimum
age
 for the
consumption
 of
alcohol
 is made on for a reason.
Therefore I
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
 am against the plan of no legal
age
 for the
consumption
 of
alcohol
. Drinking
alcohol
 is causing many problems all over the world. People are getting addicted to the
alcohol
, they are alcoholic, which in turn can lead to
violence
 towards other people. Many stories of domestic
violence
 is caused by an alcoholic person within the family, or fights in the bars late at night, when they have been drinking all evening. Having the
consumption
 of
alcohol
 starting from a minimum
age
, the problem with alcoholics can be pressed down. As the consumers reach the minimum
age
 they are old enough and have more knowledge about what
it
Accept comma addition
it, alcohol
alcohol
 is doing to your body and
brain
. Not only is
consumption
Suggestion
the consumption
 of
alcohol
 causing
violence
 towards other people, it has
also
 great effects of the development of the
brain
 of the consumer. The
brain
 is not fully developed until you are in your mid-twenties. When there is no legal
age
 to consume
alcohol
, children might start drinking it
on
Suggestion
at
 a very young
age
 which can cause underdevelopment in the
brain
. The underdevelopment of the
brain
 might have many consequences, from learning disabilities
too
in the direction of
to
 diseases
too
in the direction of
to
 health problems. The legal
age
 for drinking should be maintained. When there is no legal
age
 for the
consumption
 of
alcohol there
Accept comma addition
alcohol, there
 might be more
violence
 towards other people.
Also
 the minimum
age
 of drinking helps
agains
in contact with
against
 underdevelopment
off
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 the
brain
, preventing diseases and health problems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: