IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetatian diet.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetatian diet.
This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the figure of teenagers in the UK who be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian. The vertical axis shows a percentage and
horizontal
Correct article usage
the horizontal
show examples
 axis shows the
years
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2020. At first glance, the trend of who eat only vegetable have fluctuated over the past 6
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
. The population of teenage
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 has begun since 1960,
thereafter
Linking Words
 rose dramatically for 20
years
Use synonyms
 until peaks at
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
than approximately
show examples
 15% in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, the percentage reduced to around 6% in 1990. Between 1990 to 2000, it was the fluctuated ages of
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of younger vegetarian, the highest
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in the vicinity of 7.5% and the lowest of
all-time
Correct your spelling
all time
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 less than 5%. After rising
modest
Change the word
modestly
show examples
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
decade, it
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 off at 11 or 12%. The rest of the
years
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 only a
slightly
Replace the word
slight
show examples
 dip
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. In summary,
this
Linking Words
 diet is just a fashion in the past 60
years
Use synonyms
 and not a mainstream diet for
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
. It seems
hardly
Replace the adverb
hard
show examples
 for the proportion of
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 than 15% in the future.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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