Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people

It is certainly true that today more TV and movie personalities are better known for their glamorous look and wealth rather than their accomplishments.

This

will probably have a negative impact on gullible young individuals but not for the

critically

Suggestion

critical

thinking teenagers. The primary reason to agree with

this

statement is that minors are gullible. They are easily taken into those who they watch

Suggestion

television, movie or even in advertisements.

For instance

, Philippine presidential sister and TV and movie superstar, Ms. Kris Aquino is the most admired especially for the Filipino adolescents, and at the same time most dislike celebrity in the country. She came from a very powerful political family, but she uses her wealth for the sake of glamour through liposuction and spending too much for expensive branded products

such

as Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Hermes.

This

will perhaps affect believing younger people in a negative way because she is actually showing that it is alright to spend too much money for manipulating God-given body and for unnecessary costly things.

On the other hand

, not all young ones are credulous; most of them are critical thinkers. So they are

wisely

Suggestion

wise

enough not to look just the allurement and richness of TV and commercial stars but to focus their notable achievements.

For example

, the international boxer figure, Emmanuel "Manny"

Pacquiao who

Accept comma addition

Pacquiao, who

was

then

a typical Filipino poor man, and became an extremely wealthy boxing man because of his

undeniably

Suggestion

undeniable

perseverance and dedication. These are the qualities some youths in the Philippines are trying to emulate In conclusion, I think that in my country, there are more discerning younger people than unwise ones. So they are not easily affected by just the celebrities' beautiful aura and wealth. They know which one to be emulated and

that is

the figure's good qualities.

Submitted by amancheema094 on Fri Feb 28 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activities of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education should be accessible to people of all economic background. All level of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion.

choose a place for people to visit in your area. write a review of the place. say what people can do and see. use imperative verbs to give advice

These days there’s no need to go to the live performance (e.g: show or concert) because what we can see on TV or computer screen is better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?