Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people

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It is certainly true that today more TV and movie personalities are better known for their glamorous look and wealth rather than their accomplishments.

This

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will probably have a negative impact on gullible young individuals but not for the

critically

Suggestion

critical

thinking teenagers. The primary reason to agree with

this

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statement is that minors are gullible. They are easily taken into those who they watch

Suggestion

television, movie or even in advertisements.

For instance

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, Philippine presidential sister and TV and movie superstar, Ms. Kris Aquino is the most admired especially for the Filipino adolescents, and at the same time most dislike celebrity in the country. She came from a very powerful political family, but she uses her wealth for the sake of glamour through liposuction and spending too much for expensive branded products

such

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as Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Hermes.

This

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will perhaps affect believing younger people in a negative way because she is actually showing that it is alright to spend too much money for manipulating God-given body and for unnecessary costly things.

On the other hand

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, not all young ones are credulous; most of them are critical thinkers. So they are

wisely

Suggestion

wise

enough not to look just the allurement and richness of TV and commercial stars but to focus their notable achievements.

For example

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, the international boxer figure, Emmanuel "Manny"

Pacquiao who

Accept comma addition

Pacquiao, who

was

then

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a typical Filipino poor man, and became an extremely wealthy boxing man because of his

undeniably

Suggestion

undeniable

perseverance and dedication. These are the qualities some youths in the Philippines are trying to emulate In conclusion, I think that in my country, there are more discerning younger people than unwise ones. So they are not easily affected by just the celebrities' beautiful aura and wealth. They know which one to be emulated and

that is

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the figure's good qualities.

Submitted by amancheema094 on Fri Feb 28 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important fo o be taught art? r children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?