IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Some people would argue that expanding the period of imprisonment is the most effective method to deter criminals, while others believe that reducing
crime
rate
 has alternative options. I agree with
this
 as providing training and
education
 for prisoners can reduce the
rate
 of
crime
 effectively. A better alternative way of reducing
crime
 is by providing staff training and
education
. Most of the root cause of committing
crime
 is a financial problem.
This
 means that people are easy to be unemployment because of lacking professional skills and without any diploma.
Hence
, they have to commit a
crime
 to survive. To illustrate
this
, a long-term national program in Welsh in 2015 showed that less than 5% of people, who has skill training and
education
, has had a record of committing a
crime
.
Therefore
, I agree entirely that reducing
crime
 can utilize alternative way. It is widely believed that light punishment is regarded as to be soft on
crime
. One for
this
 reason is that most people consider a severe punishment as the best way to deter crimes. In fact, there does not have a direct connection between the level of punishment and the criminal estimate.
For instance
, the United States still has the highest
crime
rate
 even they have the highest incarceration
rate
 and harsh sentencing in the world.
Besides
, two-thirds of released prisoners are rearrested with three years. In conclusion,
although
 views might differ on the issue of how to reduce the
crime
rate
, I agree that there is a better option to lower the number of offenders by providing professional training and
education
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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