Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Give your opinion.

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It is an ongoing debate between two groups of people. Former group thinks that allowing children to make their own choices in daily matters would generate a community which is selfish. Latter group believes that it is necessary for children to make decisions related to them. Before giving my

opinion both

Accept comma addition

opinion, both

views need to be critiqued with suitable examples in the ensuing paragraphs. Discussing the former view, the foremost argument put forward by the supporters is parents should restrict their child to take a

decisions

Suggestion

decision

about everyday matters. A young man does not know what is good and what is not. They do not know the impacts of their choices on the society.

For example

Linking Words

number

Suggestion

the number

of rape cases

has increased

Suggestion

have increased

in my home country India. Clothing pattern of girls as well as thinking pattern of boys can

leads

Suggestion

lead

such

Linking Words

crimes.

Moreover

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, entertainment

such

Linking Words

as, drinking and smoking can affect health.

Furthermore

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, some rules are mandatory to make for the better health and a great future of a child.

Therefore

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, if guardians would not restrict, independence will increase in the community. Which can result in a selfish society.

On the other hand

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, latter people believe that children have their rights to make their own choices. In

this

Linking Words

era children are smart enough to choose what is

benificial

promoting or enhancing well-being

beneficial

for them and what is not.

For instance

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, in my Hindu religion non-veg food is not acceptable.

However

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, in some cases

such

Linking Words

as, bone fracture non-veg food is necessary for healing.

Additionally

Linking Words

comfert

a state of being relaxed and feeling no pain

comfort

zone along with needs of youngsters regarding to the everyday things should be

choosen

one who is the object of choice; who is given preference

chosen

by Thereby, pupils should be granted to take their own decisions which affect them. To conclude and give my opinion, adults should be allowed to make all things on their own way. Which will be

benificial

promoting or enhancing well-being

beneficial

for their lifestyle. In a result, it would generate a society with

free

Suggestion

a free

minded individuals who are able to do anything related to them.

Sun Mar 01 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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