Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?
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In
this
contemporary epoch, the obesity epidemic among school
students
became
a major problem. Some individuals propose that Wrong verb form
has become
school
authorities should make it compulsory for pupils
to participate in sports
and other health
events. I believe that this
will be beneficial for the young generation. My contention will be further
explained.
To embark, the school
system should make it mandatory for pupils
to participate in sports
by making it a part of the school
curriculum and making it affect the final grades
of each student. This
means that if the learners’ grades
are at risk of being compromised if they didn’t
attend these Wrong verb form
don’t
sports
events, then
most students
will participate. A prominent example of this
is the Salam Modern Schools, Asyut, Cairo, which promoted different sports
activities
such
as football, basketball, volleyball and tennis, and made it mandatory for each pupil to participate in at least one of them or their grades
will be affected. Hence
, not only should the school
system make it compulsory for young learners to participate in physical activities
, but it should also
make
the Verb problem
give
pupils
have
a good incentive to participate in these Unnecessary verb
apply
activities
.
Furthermore
, making pupils
participate in physical activities
when they are young will be beneficial for them on
the long run. Change preposition
in
In other words
, if students
are encouraged to participate in different sports
and were
educated about their physical Wrong verb form
are
health
, this
will lead to the reduction of their sedentary lifestyle and the improvement of their academic achievements. For example
, a study conducted by Oxford University revealed that students
that
do more physical Correct pronoun usage
who
activities
have higher grades
and acquire more social and academic skills than those who do not. Therefore
, promoting the pupils
’ physical health
not only help
them achieve healthier Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
lifestyle
but Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
also
promotes their academic achievements.
In conclusion, after
this
essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that making sports
a compulsory subject for young learners is essential. I believe that it will promote every students’
Change noun form
student’s
health
and academic grades
.Submitted by kokoelking1 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are clearly distinct with appropriate transitional phrases. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and a strong conclusion, reasserting your stance effectively.
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You support your arguments with relevant examples which help reinforce your points.
complete response
The essay addresses the task comprehensively, offering insightful viewpoints regarding schools' responsibility in managing students’ nutrition and exercise.