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Writing Samples
Band 7

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
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It is argued that children should be given more knowledge about
health
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 and wellness in schools.
This
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 essay completely agrees with that statement because children follow all the rules and regulations of the
school
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 and schools can provide all the necessary
information
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 to students of the same age group at the same time.
Firstly
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, students abide by the rules of the
school
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.
This
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 is because they are afraid to face the punishment they may get if they do not follow the rules. Because of
this
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, most of the students remain sincere and do what they are told to do. If children are provided with the
information
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 and are given certain tasks to perform at
school
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 to enhance their
health
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 and wellness than they would do them as they would be afraid to be disciplined.
For example
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, according to a survey conducted by The Hindustan Times on
school
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-going children, it was found that 90 % students do their homework as they are scared of being punished.
Additionally
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, children of the same age group can be provided with
information
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 related to
health
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 and wellness together as they will be in the same class. Owing to the increase in depression and less knowledge about menstruation in teenage girls, it is necessary to educate them about
this
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.
For example
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, as a part of government initiative in India, only girls studying in 8th standard of a government
school
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 were given education about menstruation. In conclusion, schools should provide students with
information
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 related to their
health
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 and happiness as they are fearful to be punished and education which can be provided to specific age groups can be delivered easily.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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