IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

Health
Use synonyms
 is an imperative aspect of a person’s life. In a recent study, medical practitioners have mentioned that the current lifestyle of
people
Use synonyms
 does not include physical workouts.
People
Use synonyms
 are more inclined towards
Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 sedentary lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to examine
that
Correct word choice
how
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 overworking and technology habits may lead to serious
health
Use synonyms
 problems that should be taken into consideration. The main reason for unhealthy
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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 is the influence of technology on all aspects of life. Compared with the past time humans getting more and more lazy
due to
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 the opportunities that modern technology
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
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. The vast majority of
people
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 do not often go outside and satisfy
needs
Correct pronoun usage
their needs
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 sitting at home through the internet.
For instance
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, in order to walk around the city they
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
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 stay at home and do shopping online.
Additionally
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, all new building has provided elevators, which
people
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 prefer to take
instead
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 of climbing stairs.
Similarly
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, the usage of the car is preferred more in comparison to walking or cycling to work. After
Add an article
a
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hard day in an office
people
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 get exhausted and do not have enough energy to do sport. The sedentary lifestyle is leading
people
Use synonyms
 towards wrong choices which have an adverse effect in the long term. The government should implement
health
Use synonyms
 awareness in offices and schools. Introducing
gym
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a gym
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 in offices can be another way to ensure staff
participating
Wrong verb form
participate
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 in routine physical exercise. Organising
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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competitions once
in
Change preposition
apply
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a month among employees or students can benefit
on
Change preposition
from
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building
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strong physical
health
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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 is vital for a long life and everyone should pursue
the
Correct article usage
a
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 mobile way of living.
Current
Correct article usage
The current
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 population need to understand the consequences of not doing active exercise regularly.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • digital entertainment
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian areas
  • time constraints
  • lack of awareness
  • active transportation
  • infrastructure
  • workplace wellness programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • incentivizing
What to do next:
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