IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefits teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#educationalists #exchange #visits #teenagers #school
It is an opinion of a part of the
educationalists
 that international exchange visits will improve the teenagers'
life
 at school. In my opinion, the advantages could be more than the disadvantages not only for the students, but
also
 for their families and classmates because it is an opportunity to grow up in many fields of
life
. A teenager that decides to go abroad to study for a period has to deal with many challenges.
However I
Accept comma addition
However, I
 think that it could be seen has a gym for the real
life
. Facing with a different culture, changing his/her habits, relating to people are all things that will improve the ability of the student to be more patient, to listen more what people have to say and of course to grow up with wider horizons in his mind.
On the other hand
, for the family
that is
 going to give him a shelter, there are
also
 many questions to deal with. But, as I am firmly convicted, it is an occasion to improve their communication skills and to be more open minded. I
also
 think that having an exchange student in a classroom should be an add value to the relationships that are going to bear. To see someone that decided to leave his country and his family, and to see that he is not afraid could help the other students to take into consideration
such
 an option that could be significant for their future.
Therefore
, it is impossible not to say that some disadvantages exist, at the end the student could be homesick, he could run out of money without the control of his parents, and maybe he will not like the new place. Anyway, these are problems that can be solved, and being able solving problems always means to grow up an to learn. In
conclusion i
Accept comma addition
conclusion, I
conclusion I
 think that advantages coming from an experience of that kind could help the teenager relating with other people and other culture, but
also
 to learn
life
dinamics
the branch of mechanics concerned with the forces that cause motions of bodies
dynamics
dynamic
 and to understand the world and its rules.
Submitted by silvia.motta97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: